Capturing the moment

One thing led to another and I was hanging out with my old friends.  It was a good break.  I think I was kinda comfortable with them.  We had a few laughs and this morning I woke up and I was feeling very depressed as usual.  I believe that it was just that hanging out with friends and nothing more.  We also went to a festival today and there was sun and great music and a few conversations here and there.  It was a much needed break.  I don't know if I can count on this break to be a revival of my friendships or just an event and I would move on back to the issues that were bothering me.  I am not sure.  I don't see in my friends the kindness that I used to feel for them before.  I am not sure if this is a transient phase or it is true that I don't have feelings to do with them.  My feelings are controversial and I do not know if my friends would want to feel ok with me having these thoughts.  I am confused and physically tired.  I didn't sleep much last night and I just had a big pasta plate so I am getting lethargic.