Cannot trust my own compass

It seems like for those of us who are christian anyway it is hard to trust our own thoughts and feelings because as the scriptures indicate our own thoughts and feelings are sin.  But I really haven't found any peace with that because I still have my own nasty sinful thoughts BUT self loathing and pity I can see as being sin.  Such a hard place to live this world.  The desire to do good is within me, but I keep doing the very thing I hate as Romans would say.  Why is it that I have to sin to make my life less painful?  Why can't I just accept who I am, complicated spiritual eternal who will never find answers to these questions.  AFter all that is the essence of beleiving in a power greater than myself to quote SA or any recovery group.  How do I lean on Jesus, I want to, but I just do not have the power to do so.