Cancer took the Girls but Im not going to let it take my personality!

It's been 3 months since the bilateral mastectomy and Im back to work and my old routine again. Everyone tells me how great I look, and say if they didnt know me, they would never know I;m wearing fake boobs. No one really knows how much those fake boobs hurt against my incisions & wound and how deformed I look right now under them. I try not to complain and keep a smile on my face because thats who I was and will always be. People expect me to be a stong leader at home and at work so I give them what they want... nobody like a cry baby right?? There is so many things going on in everyone's life and in the world I cant keep talking about my breast cancer...  it gets old, but sometimes thats all I can think about. I really do miss the girls though! I had them since I was 14-15 and they were always an asset in my life. My big boobs got me into clubs before I turned 21 yrs old, I never had a problem getting a boyfriend or husband (I wonder why lol ), I got away with many speeding tickets in my life and still got flirted with even in my forties! My cleavage was part of my identity and I embraced it whole heartedly. When I read the pathology report, I felt sick to my stomach when they explained in detail how they sliced my breasts into 14 slices as well as my nipples and areolas. Two thing I realize now is that the boobs dont make the girl because Im still the same strong, fun loving loud mouth girl  without the cleavage and I can always rock my fake boobs with the right bra! LOL

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

u go girl!!
deleted_user
deleted_user

u are a strong women,after I read ur journel I feel much better,and I am so proud of u.
deleted_user
deleted_user

lots of hugs from me.
deleted_user
deleted_user

It\'s kinda understandable if all u can think about is our cancer, but your right, no one else wants to hear us talk about it all the time.... S it is so cool we have each other on here! I know what you mean about missing the girls too. While they may not totally define us it still is weird losing them...it\'s like an amputation. It is such a huge process for all of us, so you are not a cry baby....and you are very strong.
godluvya64
godluvya64

Thanks Tinar & Pamela! My boobs were so big it is like an amputation & thats how I explain it to people. Im glad that we do have a place to talk about it b/c Im wearing my friends & family out. Two of my closest girlfriends hardly call anymore & they were there for me when it first happened. A week or two after the surgery, they disappeared... go figure. Message me any time if you want to talk, Im hear for you. :)
deleted_user
deleted_user

It happens to me too darling my friends told me that they are going to be there for me,when I needed they they whare not there for my husband and my sister where ther for me.All my friends stayed away from me.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hi how are u?Well I had my 5th chemo only one to go I am so happy.But I have to take Herceptin for the whole year.After I take Nulesta shot my expanders get so tight.