cancer
It's official. I have Cancer. I got the news yesterday via phone call from my gyno and haven't been able to stop crying. I am suppose to meet with the oncologist next week. I am so really really scared of the hysterectomy surgery and it's aftermath. My doctor and my gyno kept telling me I was to young for this type of cancer but I knew it. I guess I'll never have children now....not that I was planning on it anyways. both my grandmother (stomach cancer) and my mother (brain cancer) got cancer and died at a relatively young age. Probably time to end that trend by not having offspring.
I feel bad for what I'm doing to my Dad. I'm single and live with him and I know how much he went through while he watched my mother battle cancer for eight long years and I hate that I'm doing that to him again. I don't know how to tell anyone. I told my two best friends in and email. My brothers have no idea yet....we all went through so much with my mom and even though she has been gone five years I don't think any of us have fully recovered. I know I haven't. I need her so much right now.
I'm suppose to go back to work on Thursday. How do I handle that. How do I handle coworkers asking me how my procedure went and how I am feeling when I don't want to get into the truth. How do I face the families of the children in my class that are going to be asking the same thing? How do I not cry at the drop of a hat since I've been doing that for the last 24 hours.
Is is there a point where I stop being sad and instead get mad and brave....because right now I don't feel very strong at all. I don't know how I'm going to get through this. Honestly part of me thinks it would be easier to just disappear forever.
I feel bad for what I'm doing to my Dad. I'm single and live with him and I know how much he went through while he watched my mother battle cancer for eight long years and I hate that I'm doing that to him again. I don't know how to tell anyone. I told my two best friends in and email. My brothers have no idea yet....we all went through so much with my mom and even though she has been gone five years I don't think any of us have fully recovered. I know I haven't. I need her so much right now.
I'm suppose to go back to work on Thursday. How do I handle that. How do I handle coworkers asking me how my procedure went and how I am feeling when I don't want to get into the truth. How do I face the families of the children in my class that are going to be asking the same thing? How do I not cry at the drop of a hat since I've been doing that for the last 24 hours.
Is is there a point where I stop being sad and instead get mad and brave....because right now I don't feel very strong at all. I don't know how I'm going to get through this. Honestly part of me thinks it would be easier to just disappear forever.
Replies
You will process this in your own time and way. My process want quickly. I got pissed and decided I\'m beating this. Say what they will, doctors, strangers, old friends, who have you... I didn\'t care who they were or c what they had to say if it was less than F#k cancer. My fight began early. So did my prayers. The truth is, The Lord is not going to take you out of this world one moment before He chooses to do so. HE decides. NOT cancer. Find peace in that. If you are dealing with uterine cancer, it is the most treatable cancer. I\'m scheduled for my hysterectomy in 9 days. It\'s been a trial. Writing about it helps.
What kind of hysterectomy are you having? I\'m seriously more scared of that and the weeks of recovery then anything. I\'m also very over weight and worry about how that is going to complicate things.
I have to admit that I too am more scared of cancer than of my cancer. I am having a full hysterectomy. They are going to try the Da Vinci method, but I have had 3 abdominal surgeries so I gave a lot of scar tissue. He will not know until he tries if he will succeed at doing the Da Vinci method. I have you in my prayers and am praying peace over your situation.
Sorry, more scared of the surgery than of the cancer.