can we all just smile?

This morning started off pretty emotional. I woke up to yet another very long and hurtful (started nice, but soon ended mean and ugly) email from my ex-husband (who is BP). Wanting to plead his case about why we should be friends and how I need to just except that fact that he's my childs father and regardless of how he treats me we must be friends. I didn't respond as I don't respond to any emails that do not directly concern our child. I have been dealing with lowering my anxiety and the amount of emails sent back and forth in this manner. At first it made him even more furious. Now he is taken on the stand that I am just being hateful and trying to control everything. The only thing I am controlling is the amount of stress I am allowing him to bring to me. I am leaning more and more towards bringing in a mediator so that I wont have to have contact with him at all. I did after the divorce have a restraining order against him so I could feel safer. I do not trust him or feel as though he is ever going to change. AM I wrong. I spent 15 years with him and he only got worse in those years. I had no idea he was BP while we were married. I think a lot of my problem is is that if I thought he cared enough to try by medicating himself to maintain a better attitude towards people or life. He self medicates by smoking marijuana on a daily basis. And his behavior as well as anger has only become worse, specially towards me. I'm scared for my child who is already having issues with his emotions. My child currently sees a councilor that was by my choice because I felt he needed a place to vent to someone who wasn't in the circle.