Can't take this anymore!!!

On March 16th, 2010, I came home from work and my husband told me he has been unhappy for a very long time and thought we should get divorced. He said he's been trying to find a way out but I never seemed to listen. This is crap. If he was really that unhappy for so long why didn't he talk to someone or act unhappy. Up until the day before he told me this everything was fine. We were very much inlove with eachother (so I thought). This was news to me and everyone we know including his family.
We decided we would seperate for a while and then I guess reavaluate our relationship. We both had things we needed to work on. He told his brother and sister that he needed to figure some things out on his own and that he really didn't want to be with anyone right now. This past Friday he asked me if it was alright if a girl from work and her daughter moved in for a little while. I wanted to say no but I said "I guess that will be fine." Yesterday I went over to finish some packing and do some laundry. I went into his bedroom to see what I had left in there and I found an open condom package. So much for being with no one. I understand what's really going on now. He had found someone else and didn't have the fucking balls to tell me the truth. Instead he gave me false hope that everything was going to be ok and that we might get back together.
I just don't know what to do anymore. It all seems pointless. He was the one good thing in my life. He was my reason for getting out of bed in the morning. He was my soulmate, the love of my life, and my best friend. I have lost it all.
No one needs to worry. Though I would love to kill myself right now, I'm not going to. I've promised too many people I wouldn't and I'm tired of letting people down. What has happened is obviously my fault. If I hadn't been so depressed, in pain, or if I actually wanted to have sex, maybe this wouldn't be happening to me. If I had let him take me to work the day of the accident, it never would have happened and maybe I wouldn't have all these problems. So see, it is all my fault and I guess I deserve this.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

You are wrong: No one deserves that. The man is beneath contempt.
deleted_user
deleted_user

My love my heart is with you.. please take care of yourself.. there is no reason why all this has happened just know that you are loved here... love to you my friend..
deleted_user
deleted_user

Do not blame yourself for his dispicable behavior. He wants someone else. That does not reflect on you, only him. Sometimes these things just happen, but the way he went about things was hurtful. You cannot let yourself be defined by another person. You will always come out unhappy if you try. You are a whole person on your own and capable of happiness without anyone else. You find a soulmate to inhance your life, not define it. Do not let anyone take little pieces of your self esteem. He is a toad. hugs j
deleted_user
deleted_user

Please don\'t blame yourself. Although it affects you in so many ways, his decision hadn\'t anything to do with you. It was about him and his selfish wants. You don\'t deserve to be treated so poorly-- no one does.
How horrible. I\'m so sorry you are hurting. You are in my thoughts.