Can't stop crying

I have a hard time to express myself most of the time as to how and what im feeling because you get to a point where to many "well meaning" people tell you to just look better. So you start playing the pretend game and nobody see the real you or what you are feeling. I had a very bad night as the nightmares is well killing me. Then you have to go with the family to a mall and the panic attack starts because there is to many people in the mall, so since the family went home I cant stop crying.