Can't seem to handle anything lately
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me but it is really starting to get to me. I have been rediagnosed and so now I have a bunch of more shit wrong with me. Lovely. I now have Bipolar Type II, Major Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Panic and Agoraphobia, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I have a Heart Rhythm Disorder with Enlarged Ventricles. I also have Hypothyroidsim. Thanks to all the abuse I have taken throughout my life, I also have been diagnosed with Scoliosis and Lumbar Hyperlordosis. So, my head is fucked, my heart is fucked, my thyroid is fucked, and my back is fucked. Great...what next?
I constantly have stupid nightmares about everything that has gone wrong in my life. I dream about my stepdad or exhusband beating me or raping me. I dream that my kids are gonna get taken away (thanks Mom) and I just found out that everything I thought I knew about my family was just a lie. My mother is a crackhead whore, one sister is a crackhead, one sister is a guilt-ridden Mary fucking Poppins, and my other sister has been treated like shit all of her life like me. My family is so fucked up I swear! I don't fucking know what to believe anymore and what to expect.
I am on probation for at least another 7-8 years because my greedy bitch of a mom stole my oldest child, got grandparent's custody and sued me for back childsupport. Now I am in debt over $16k because of her money hungry ass. I just want my son. But, she won't let me talk to him even though the judge says she has to. I can't afford a lawyer so what the fuck can I do about it? All I can do is try to pull myself together for the rest of my children. They need a mom. I just have to figure out how to fix myself first......
I constantly have stupid nightmares about everything that has gone wrong in my life. I dream about my stepdad or exhusband beating me or raping me. I dream that my kids are gonna get taken away (thanks Mom) and I just found out that everything I thought I knew about my family was just a lie. My mother is a crackhead whore, one sister is a crackhead, one sister is a guilt-ridden Mary fucking Poppins, and my other sister has been treated like shit all of her life like me. My family is so fucked up I swear! I don't fucking know what to believe anymore and what to expect.
I am on probation for at least another 7-8 years because my greedy bitch of a mom stole my oldest child, got grandparent's custody and sued me for back childsupport. Now I am in debt over $16k because of her money hungry ass. I just want my son. But, she won't let me talk to him even though the judge says she has to. I can't afford a lawyer so what the fuck can I do about it? All I can do is try to pull myself together for the rest of my children. They need a mom. I just have to figure out how to fix myself first......
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