Can't Figure Me Out Today
Well here I am again, just journaled a couple days ago & here I am again to sort of bother my friends.
Does anyone ever have days where you'd like to say to the world "OK stop, let me off & I'm going to find somewhere else to call home", or maybe just bang your head against the wall & maybe scream also.
So many things seemed to tip me today & that is so so not like me that I'm even wondering. It was cat shelter day today & some might remember a bit of this story abt the mess there & the phone call I had made. Well the last several wks we thought that wow the lead girl (who can't work with anyone) was actually cleaning & my call really did something, well, hubby & I had to go to the basement to look for something & found that all she's done is move abt 80% of it to the basement so things can pile up there where the furnace & hot water tank & such stuff is. I was upset, pissed off(pardon my language) & just wanted to shout, cry, quit right then & there, yell, rant, scream, etc. etc. etc. When we went up I told my partner abt what we'd just seen & she simply could not comprehend that at all. It was at that point that I just decided thats it, I've tried what I felt was my best & I just don't have it in me to fight that fight right now. It really is enough to actually make me think abt leaving in the future but the thread that's keeping me there is all the kitties that so need the extra special attention my partner & I give them. We go above & beyond the normal daily clean, feed routine & do to the extent that is only done for the once or twice a yr open houses. We buy can food for them weekly & give them treats also. I just couldn't seem to handle it well today & thats not like me.
This afternoon I decided it's abt time I check in with my dad so I called to chat. Not a good thing. My dad is a grey cloud person & at the best of times life always has more negative then positive. Normally todays conversation would not of swayed me too much but I guess it was the straw that broke the camels back pluse he relayed bad health news abt some cousins & oh I don't know I just couldn't handle that either.
Right abt now the only thing I want to do is just stop the world, wish I could have a few really good stiff drinks, drown my sorrows in chocolate maybe & just forget that the world exists.
Gotta pull myself upright here & shake this off. Talk abt one of those days.
OK, I won't go on any longer, I think I've whined enough here. Gotta get some motivation to cook dinner for hubby. Darn it all I have to eat & don't even want to do that.
Does anyone ever have days where you'd like to say to the world "OK stop, let me off & I'm going to find somewhere else to call home", or maybe just bang your head against the wall & maybe scream also.
So many things seemed to tip me today & that is so so not like me that I'm even wondering. It was cat shelter day today & some might remember a bit of this story abt the mess there & the phone call I had made. Well the last several wks we thought that wow the lead girl (who can't work with anyone) was actually cleaning & my call really did something, well, hubby & I had to go to the basement to look for something & found that all she's done is move abt 80% of it to the basement so things can pile up there where the furnace & hot water tank & such stuff is. I was upset, pissed off(pardon my language) & just wanted to shout, cry, quit right then & there, yell, rant, scream, etc. etc. etc. When we went up I told my partner abt what we'd just seen & she simply could not comprehend that at all. It was at that point that I just decided thats it, I've tried what I felt was my best & I just don't have it in me to fight that fight right now. It really is enough to actually make me think abt leaving in the future but the thread that's keeping me there is all the kitties that so need the extra special attention my partner & I give them. We go above & beyond the normal daily clean, feed routine & do to the extent that is only done for the once or twice a yr open houses. We buy can food for them weekly & give them treats also. I just couldn't seem to handle it well today & thats not like me.
This afternoon I decided it's abt time I check in with my dad so I called to chat. Not a good thing. My dad is a grey cloud person & at the best of times life always has more negative then positive. Normally todays conversation would not of swayed me too much but I guess it was the straw that broke the camels back pluse he relayed bad health news abt some cousins & oh I don't know I just couldn't handle that either.
Right abt now the only thing I want to do is just stop the world, wish I could have a few really good stiff drinks, drown my sorrows in chocolate maybe & just forget that the world exists.
Gotta pull myself upright here & shake this off. Talk abt one of those days.
OK, I won't go on any longer, I think I've whined enough here. Gotta get some motivation to cook dinner for hubby. Darn it all I have to eat & don't even want to do that.
Replies
I am so sorry to hear that you had such a stressful day! No fun. I know what you mean about just wanting to just stop the world and get off. I\'ve had many moments like that. It sounds to me that you are just overwhelmed and need a break.....to do something just for you for a few days or so.....take a vacation, get a massage, treat yourself to whatever sounds good! We all need a break from time to time, and I\'m giving you permission to take one. LOL. You are a dear special friend of mine, and I just want you to be happy! Hugs!!!!
Yup! We all have those days! Many...it\'s LIFE! Sorry to hear about the shelter woos and your dad being down. It\'s hard. BUT you need to know that you are NEVER a bother. We all vent, rant, yell here on DS, this is our outlet / therapy and we\'re thankful to have each other. Rant away, I like pity parties and I will invite you to the next one I have, okay? Okay! HUGS
We all have days where just need to vent, scream, bang out heads, etc. that\'s why we are all here.....unfortunately we can\'t control other people only our reactions to them.
I hope you feel better soon and things even out!
Beth
Now you sound just like me.. LOL There are days I just want to run away from home, but no place to go. keep your chin up sweetie, it will get better. I wish there was a happy pill I would be a wealthy woman. I am here if you want to talk to some one call me.
Praying things will get better for you.
I love you to the moon and back again. Frieda
Oh, ding, ding, ding ... you get the prize. lol. I had a day just like that as you know, recently. I guess we are bound to have them once in a while, but I couldn\'t cope or deal with mine either. sigh. Maybe you should call and report the shelter again. It moved them in motion before (not exactly what you had in mind, I know), maybe it will move them even more with a 2nd call -- and in the right direction this time. Don\'t give up. Keep calling! : )
This is when it would be so nice to live near each other. I\'d console you, you\'d console me haha.
Hope you are feeling better today. God is working for out good, even if the #$%#%^&(&^ world isn\'t!