Can someone give a girl a hug?

I had a wonderful weekend with my step-daughter. I am sitting here at the computer in tears because I hate that my "mommy switich" is cut on every other weekend and I feel so empty afterward when she leaves. I hate how I feel, I am up then down!! I have been on the internet countless hours looking for clinical trials and studies to try and find a way to pay for IVF. TO my dismay not really much of anything. I find maybe 2 options out several to consider. I want to be a mom so bad and another mother's day is approaching and nothing again!! Also, I don't think my "hugs" are registering in my system. I saw under activitiy that someone "hugged" me but it didnt show up in the hug book. I don't know but I am trying to stay positive, but man its hard!!