can it get ay worse

i woke up today thinkig things would get better but instead they just got worse,i am really thinking what have i done for my sister to be so mean to me when i have only help her when ever she needed even after losing my leg i never once assssk her for ay help at all but after what she said to me about my HERO(MUM) i went nuts at her and said some real mean things to her and i thought i would feel good but i only feel worse but i was brought up to respect my mum and dad and what she said would have mum turn in her grave so i told her i wish she was dead and not mum(that was me getting angry)then i told her never to speak to me.after that i took my little princess(DOG) ad stayed in bed ,had a good cry for being so cruel and stayed in bed for the rest of the day thinking what i could do to make it up to her god i wish i could be with mum right now miss her so much