Can I Puke Now?
I guess I wasn't feeling wretched enough about all that is going on so I decided to torture myself by digging up more info about tOW. Yeah. I'm brilliant. How about I just start randomly slashing myself with a dull, rusty spoon, instead?
The thing is, I worry H may contact her via iMessage since that wouldn't show up on phone records. This would rely on her using an iPhone or other device running iOS 5 so it's relatively easy to check. First I put in her email addresses. Nope - not registered. Then I went digging for her phone number.
Yeah. See. I couldn't leave it be. I found her work number first and since it's not a cell number I knew it wouldn't be the right number. Shoulda left it be checked her cell number (which I eventually did) and then left things alone once I found out she wasn't able to iMessage H. But no. I called her work number. I sort of have heard her voice when H called her to break things off for good, but it still makes me sick to hear her voice. I also called her cell number. I am considering calling her home number, too, but just to be an ass and make her worry who is calling.
I hate that I'm so immature.
I don't know what I was expecting but she definitely sounds OLD. For someone who is 7 years younger than I, she sounds more like ten years older. All the smoking and drinking I guess? She looks so young in photos - her voice def didn't match. Who cares, right? I guess I'm still at the point where I need to find something at which I "win" and am somehow better. Stupid. Pointless.
I sort of wish she had answered. I sort of wish I could have confronted her. A year too late, I guess. Besides, I know it wouldn't change anything. It's not like she has grown morals since she last was fucking my husband so I'm sure she wouldn't be tripping over herself to apologize.
I think I may write out a fantasy interaction (again-I've done this dozens of times) and make her say (in my story, I mean) what I need her to say to make things ok.
Maybe it will help.
Maybe I just need somewhere to dump all of my pain and problems about OTHER stuff that has come up and she is an easy target.
Or maybe I'm still feeling like such a failure and I'm just looking for proof or for contrary evidence. (So why am I looking with her??)
The thing is, I worry H may contact her via iMessage since that wouldn't show up on phone records. This would rely on her using an iPhone or other device running iOS 5 so it's relatively easy to check. First I put in her email addresses. Nope - not registered. Then I went digging for her phone number.
Yeah. See. I couldn't leave it be. I found her work number first and since it's not a cell number I knew it wouldn't be the right number. Shoulda left it be checked her cell number (which I eventually did) and then left things alone once I found out she wasn't able to iMessage H. But no. I called her work number. I sort of have heard her voice when H called her to break things off for good, but it still makes me sick to hear her voice. I also called her cell number. I am considering calling her home number, too, but just to be an ass and make her worry who is calling.
I hate that I'm so immature.
I don't know what I was expecting but she definitely sounds OLD. For someone who is 7 years younger than I, she sounds more like ten years older. All the smoking and drinking I guess? She looks so young in photos - her voice def didn't match. Who cares, right? I guess I'm still at the point where I need to find something at which I "win" and am somehow better. Stupid. Pointless.
I sort of wish she had answered. I sort of wish I could have confronted her. A year too late, I guess. Besides, I know it wouldn't change anything. It's not like she has grown morals since she last was fucking my husband so I'm sure she wouldn't be tripping over herself to apologize.
I think I may write out a fantasy interaction (again-I've done this dozens of times) and make her say (in my story, I mean) what I need her to say to make things ok.
Maybe it will help.
Maybe I just need somewhere to dump all of my pain and problems about OTHER stuff that has come up and she is an easy target.
Or maybe I'm still feeling like such a failure and I'm just looking for proof or for contrary evidence. (So why am I looking with her??)
Replies
Oh. Gawd. How priceless. I called her home number. Her fianc lives with her. The one she cheated on to be with H. Oh. Well. This is information that could be QUITE valuable.
Ok, stop this! You are just torturing yourself. Try that exercise that I did. Write a letter from her saying everything that you would need to hear from you for you to forgive, or at least let go of the anger. I then took it a step further and wrote a response. It obviously didn\'t get rid of all my anger, but it did help. Here\'s why. If the OW really is sorry enough to say at least some of the things I would need to hear, then I\'d know she is somewhat human with a conscious. However, if she\'s not one bit sorry because she felt entitled to try and steel my husband, then she is a subhuman who is going to hell and that\'s fine too! lol I never got to confront the OW either and there are times that I wish I had my say, but then there are times when I am grateful that I never met her or heard her voice. It\'s bad enough that I have her fat, ugly image burned in my brain! lol Stop calling her. You\'re just asking for trouble in the age of caller ID!!!! Be strong! Hugs.
Meh, I had my phone caller ID turned off, and what could she do anyway? Unless I repeatedly call the same number, no big deal.
But no. You\'re right. I would really, really, REALLY love to show up to \"their\" little love nest with the letters she wrote H, though, and present them to her fianc.
I know, I know. We want them to suffer the consequences of their disgusting actions. Believe me, I know! I do believe though that we reap what we sew and even if we do not get to witness it, they will or are suffering the consequences. She may appear to be happy with her fiance\', but you don\'t really know what is happening behind closed doors. Just remember that the best revenge is living a happy life! Sending you support!
I agree with Z ... we\'ve all been there but it doesn\'t help the situation at all. One thing that has become apparent on these boards is that no NORMAL single woman is interested in a married man and there are ALWAYS big piles of crazy underneath the surface.
If she was so wonderful she would be in a happy relationship and wouldn\'t need to troll for married guys. She was looking for someone to rescue her, most likely, and she was jealous of what you have - a husband who provides for your family and seemed committed. So she thought that by luring him away he would give her that same thing and she could just step into your life.
But we all know it doesn\'t work that way.