Calmer today,but still shaky and unsure of myself

Good morning journal,the time is now 9:15am and I have been awake for forty five minutes after a night of deep uninterrupted sleep due to sheer exhaustion rather than contentment or any other reason.Yesterday was a very,very hard day to live through,my head was all over the place,and I could not maintain control of my mind for any reasonable length of time.My wife,as always,was her usual brilliant self,reassuring and caring,reminding me once again just what an awesome person she is,and indeed how fortunate I am as a man that she is my woman.She is extremely knowledgeable about mental illness and has conducted extensive research about the subject since I began to show symptoms,even in the early stages when I was still able to function and do a days work,she knew that I was ill long before I knew myself,she is one smart and clued up cookie my girl.I put a lot of things down to tiredness,stress at work,and just generally feeling run down,and I ignored all the warning signs,of which thinking back there were many,until my system couldn't take any more and I collapsed at work,my mind and my body just said "enough" and shut down.My mental and physical deterioration over the past year has been gradual,but nevertheless very noticeable and sometimes even dramatic in it's way,hence episodes like yesterday,and it leaves me feeling exhausted,unsure and afraid of things I do not know,it is no way for a man to live,no way for anyone to live,but it is my life today and I must live it the best way I know how.This morning,I am calmer but still somewhat shaky and unsure of myself,the voices in my mind are a little slower but still too fast to make any sense of what they are trying to say to me,so I guess the best plan for me is to wait until they speak slowly enough for me to understand what they are trying to tell me.I have an errand to run this morning so I'd better get dressed and get it done,until the next time then,peace and love walk with us this day.