Can't.

My dishes are piling up.
My legs are getting restless.
My bathroom is filthy.
My bedroom floor has seen more dirty clothes than carpet for months.
My mind is clawing for a safer place to be.
 
Nothing happened this weekend the way it was supposed to.
I had a movie drinks and boyfriend and across town my kitten was lost early so the hours until he wandered back kept us awake then we slept and I woke up and he slept slept slept slept
 
And I waited.
 
Then he drank drank drank til I slept (too late then).
 
 
Then sick sick sick.  
I took care of him.
Not sad about no date.
Soup soda and soothing drugsPut me in the second best bracket.
 
Thank you for the clarification.
 
I'm not your best friend.I'm still not your best love.I'm too sensitive.
 
If it were various someones, it would be one thing.
But you still think she's loved you best.
 
 
I loved you FIRST.I love you MORE.
 
 
I don't want to scrub my toilet.I don't want to talk to someone in a call center so I can summon a repair man into my home.I don't want to walk.
 
I just want to lay here smoke and eat good food once a day.I want a happier book to read.Something beautiful and painless to watch that will keep my itching fingers from picking up the puzzle game on the phone again.
 
I need a cityTownHamletStreetThat stays up as late as I doAnd as longI want to be somewhere that won't leave me alone in my mind during its most active hours.  I want something to distract me, I want something to make me move.
 
But there is nothing and nowhere that sounds appealing.
 
 
 
I just want to be eyes closed floating with you under our lights.
 
 
 
I wonder if the metallic taste in my mouth resembles that of silver at all.
 
 
Bring me one flower and give me one dance.
 
I won't even ask you for that.