BUT STILL, I RISE.
My name is Corrie George. I am 24 years old. I have Stage 2 HS disease. I am struggling alcoholic and suffer PTSD and anxiety from prolonged child hood sexual abuse not to mention depression, poor body image and low confidence. I also believe I may be a masochistic to a certain extent. I have so far overcome Cocaine and extacy addiction, bulimia, and self mutilation. I also had my only child at the age of 15 who is now 8 and has cerebal palsy.
I was molested at least once a week from the time I was 4 until I was 13 by my step-dad. When I was 13 I finally "realized" that this was not normal or acceptable. It took me a long time to work up the courage but I finally wrote my mom a letter and told her what I had been going through. Needless to say he had convinced her that I was lying. I called child services and the police by myself to press charges and remove myself from the home. My mother never fought for me to come home, in fact she stood up in court and called me a pathological liar and fought to have the charges dropped against my stepfather.
This all lead to 10 years of hard drugs, alcoholism and promiscuity.... I feel I need to be honest somewhere so it may as well be here... I slept with over 250 men in my life, most without protection. By God's will I was blessed to only encounter treatable STI's and never caught anything permanent. I would cut my legs and arms and lick up the blood... sick I know! I would bang my head off walls to feel pain. I was so addicted to Coke and E I could pop upwards of 10 pills and snort 3 -4 grams of coke. Any time I ate food and was sober I felt like this fat pig who shouldn't eat at all and I would make myself throw it all up. I would drink upwards 20-30 shots and 10-20 beers a night when I could get the money. Not to mention my HS started when I delivered my son when I was 15. I would only sleep with men when he and I were both drunk because I was so ashamed of my HS disease. I can't even begin to describe the amount of shame and embaressment I brought onto myself.
For a really long time I wondered if there was a God, why he put me here... why he placed me in such a F----ed sup situation. I finally began to realize that if I wanted more from life that I had to create a better life. I had to stop hurting myself and embarrassing myself. I finally stopped doing hard drugs along with cutting, and getting sick. I started going back to school to get my highschool diploma. I met a really good friend of mine who introduced me to God. Who showed me what she had went through in life and how she had overcame it. She was there for me everytime I relapsed from drinking and assured me that she saw my binges were happening farther and farther apart and that this is how it happens.
I have cried soooooooo much in the past 2 years, I am crying right now writing this. I finally began to heal. I enrolled in college and I am studying for my business degree with a major in psychology. Studying psychology and getting to talk to my professors let me know what everything I went through is normal considering the situations I went through. Learning about addictions and abnormal behaviors showed me that I wasn't "stuck" this way forever that there was hope for a "normal" life. I began to seek out spiritual advisers. I was always against religions but I found Native healers who began to show me the holistic ways.
I began to pray, give thanks, cry, and study harder then I ever have before. I got my own apartment and was able to care for my son without my families constant help. In a matter of months I was voted class president. I had also been noticed by a producer on the music scene and he invited me to join his label as vise president.
It has been almost 2 years since I decided to turn my life around. I still have the occasional drink but I never drink past my limit. I have not harmed myself, slept with anyone I haven't been in a relationship with, done hard drugs or any of the "old me" behaviors. I have reconciled with my mom and we had it out in a screaming, crying fit... me telling her I was the way I was because she hadn't believed me and her telling me she was sorry and loved me and she knew everyday since she realized how lost I had become that I had been telling the truth. My son and I have since moved into her house where she helps care for my son while I complete my degree.
I am now on co-op placement for my business program. I decided to apply for the adult education centre where I received my G.E.D. And to my blessings, the director was beyond thrilled to have me. I am working as assistant director and am being considered to be trained as director for when my boss retires.
Everyday I deal with adults who have similar life problems ... mostly childhood abuse that spiraled into addictions, spousal abuse, dibiliating diseases, depression.. alot of things I have gone/going through. Everyone who walks in that door wants to fight for a better life, but has had something in the past that held them back from graduating on time. I am so beyond blessed to be in their lives and share my own experiences with them to show them that better days WILL come given the right determination and faith.
I truly have to thank GOD for placing me in the life/shoes/situations he did. I know now everything I went through is because I am strong enough to have understood,dealt with and to overcome it all. I am now happy. I still have my flashbacks and nightmares. I still get embarressed when I see certain people I was a drunken mess in front of or guys I slept with or behaved like a complete slob around. LOL but I try laugh about it. Because that's not me anymore.
I am a successful young woman.I overcame so much, so fast. All because of God. I plan to use my music and new found business connections to start 2 major movements. 1) Harsher punishments for child abusers.. and psych evaluations on the children before they are dismissed as a liar. (Believe me had I gotten one hour with a psychologist before court they would have known I was telling the truth) 2) Bring awareness to HS Disease. Among everything else I dealt with in life I also have to forever deal with cysts all over my body. I have decided to no longer feel like a ogre. I refuse. I am beautiful and I am blessed.
I am God's Perfection! <3
I was molested at least once a week from the time I was 4 until I was 13 by my step-dad. When I was 13 I finally "realized" that this was not normal or acceptable. It took me a long time to work up the courage but I finally wrote my mom a letter and told her what I had been going through. Needless to say he had convinced her that I was lying. I called child services and the police by myself to press charges and remove myself from the home. My mother never fought for me to come home, in fact she stood up in court and called me a pathological liar and fought to have the charges dropped against my stepfather.
This all lead to 10 years of hard drugs, alcoholism and promiscuity.... I feel I need to be honest somewhere so it may as well be here... I slept with over 250 men in my life, most without protection. By God's will I was blessed to only encounter treatable STI's and never caught anything permanent. I would cut my legs and arms and lick up the blood... sick I know! I would bang my head off walls to feel pain. I was so addicted to Coke and E I could pop upwards of 10 pills and snort 3 -4 grams of coke. Any time I ate food and was sober I felt like this fat pig who shouldn't eat at all and I would make myself throw it all up. I would drink upwards 20-30 shots and 10-20 beers a night when I could get the money. Not to mention my HS started when I delivered my son when I was 15. I would only sleep with men when he and I were both drunk because I was so ashamed of my HS disease. I can't even begin to describe the amount of shame and embaressment I brought onto myself.
For a really long time I wondered if there was a God, why he put me here... why he placed me in such a F----ed sup situation. I finally began to realize that if I wanted more from life that I had to create a better life. I had to stop hurting myself and embarrassing myself. I finally stopped doing hard drugs along with cutting, and getting sick. I started going back to school to get my highschool diploma. I met a really good friend of mine who introduced me to God. Who showed me what she had went through in life and how she had overcame it. She was there for me everytime I relapsed from drinking and assured me that she saw my binges were happening farther and farther apart and that this is how it happens.
I have cried soooooooo much in the past 2 years, I am crying right now writing this. I finally began to heal. I enrolled in college and I am studying for my business degree with a major in psychology. Studying psychology and getting to talk to my professors let me know what everything I went through is normal considering the situations I went through. Learning about addictions and abnormal behaviors showed me that I wasn't "stuck" this way forever that there was hope for a "normal" life. I began to seek out spiritual advisers. I was always against religions but I found Native healers who began to show me the holistic ways.
I began to pray, give thanks, cry, and study harder then I ever have before. I got my own apartment and was able to care for my son without my families constant help. In a matter of months I was voted class president. I had also been noticed by a producer on the music scene and he invited me to join his label as vise president.
It has been almost 2 years since I decided to turn my life around. I still have the occasional drink but I never drink past my limit. I have not harmed myself, slept with anyone I haven't been in a relationship with, done hard drugs or any of the "old me" behaviors. I have reconciled with my mom and we had it out in a screaming, crying fit... me telling her I was the way I was because she hadn't believed me and her telling me she was sorry and loved me and she knew everyday since she realized how lost I had become that I had been telling the truth. My son and I have since moved into her house where she helps care for my son while I complete my degree.
I am now on co-op placement for my business program. I decided to apply for the adult education centre where I received my G.E.D. And to my blessings, the director was beyond thrilled to have me. I am working as assistant director and am being considered to be trained as director for when my boss retires.
Everyday I deal with adults who have similar life problems ... mostly childhood abuse that spiraled into addictions, spousal abuse, dibiliating diseases, depression.. alot of things I have gone/going through. Everyone who walks in that door wants to fight for a better life, but has had something in the past that held them back from graduating on time. I am so beyond blessed to be in their lives and share my own experiences with them to show them that better days WILL come given the right determination and faith.
I truly have to thank GOD for placing me in the life/shoes/situations he did. I know now everything I went through is because I am strong enough to have understood,dealt with and to overcome it all. I am now happy. I still have my flashbacks and nightmares. I still get embarressed when I see certain people I was a drunken mess in front of or guys I slept with or behaved like a complete slob around. LOL but I try laugh about it. Because that's not me anymore.
I am a successful young woman.I overcame so much, so fast. All because of God. I plan to use my music and new found business connections to start 2 major movements. 1) Harsher punishments for child abusers.. and psych evaluations on the children before they are dismissed as a liar. (Believe me had I gotten one hour with a psychologist before court they would have known I was telling the truth) 2) Bring awareness to HS Disease. Among everything else I dealt with in life I also have to forever deal with cysts all over my body. I have decided to no longer feel like a ogre. I refuse. I am beautiful and I am blessed.
I am God's Perfection! <3
Replies
Hi heldback,
wow your story is amazing. I feel so bad that you had to face so much at such an early age. You are an inspirational young lady and should be very proud of yourself. I knew people who did not experience half of what you did and couldn\'t find it in their hearts to forgive, confess and learn from their mistakes. I applaud you and I wish you the best in school and life. Thanks for sharing your story.
You are awesome !! I appreciate the fact that you are using your experiences to help others. Good job !
Thanks loves :)
You are an amazing woman. I am so happy for all the progress you\'ve made. That\'s truly amazing and shows what a strong spirit you have ...you\'ve gone through such hell and pulled yourself out of the pit of hell. I wish I had read this before my long replies to your post on the board...I was under the impression based on what your mother had said that she was still in denial and still thinking you were a liar. I\'m glad to see she finally believes you. You have come a long way but healing a life long process. If possible do consider seeing a therapist to help you to grow even faster and achieve your goals. You\'re pretty amazing you know? (((hugs)))