Business as Usual
Well it's back to work...same old stuff....I had to pass on the H.R. position and that really bothered me....there was no job security in it for me....no job description.....and no raise.....Wayne says, they wanted a lot of sugar for their dime...but I digress.
I am not sure why I am feeling like I am tonight.......I am truly sad.....truly blue.....wondering where it came from......knowing where it came from.......but not wanting to face the ugly truth.....life is not fair....I am really getting pissed off at the "not fairness" of it all.
Part of me gives "me" my own advice....tomorrow the sun will come up....the clouds will pass by....and all the other "wills" will happen.....but I feel empty, lost and saddened.
I thank my God everyday that I have the "Mom's" here to listen to me and to talk with. I think maybe the heat is killing part of my happy side. It is and can be so unbearable.
I have plans now....a future with true meaning...part of that is being true to myself...willing to put one foot in front of the other...willing to stumble and get right back up again.....I know I hold in my heart what my calling now is and I should be happy for myself, not saddened.
I think maybe I wish it could all end someday. No more losses, no more grief stricken Mothers, no more tears...and yet it goes on and on and on....this is not a road for the weak or the weary and sometimes I think I am the vice-president of the weak and weary club.
Yes I hear myself....I promise that once again tomorrow will come and the sun will shine and I will put my head on straight, I have too many people that depend on me to be strong...little do they know they are the well of strength that I tap into on a daily basis. Even when I do not write in my journal, do not speak to anyone, I am always reading and searching and listening to it all.
I pray this day that we all find that strength to tap into from whatever positive source that is out there, or here or just in your hearts or minds. When you feel as though you cannot go on...reach out for my hand and hold on tight...close your eyes and feel me next to you as I feel you next to me. Together we are so strong and we can ride this ride to the bitter end. It's what we do on the ride that counts.
I choose to be a survivor....I choose to live.....I choose life...I choose to be the one thing that no one person can take from me....I choose to be me.
I always feel so much better when I journal....I feel some of the weight lifting from me already....and I am grateful for that....it may sound like rambling or ranting but believe me......for today it has been screaming....crying....and once again asking "WHY????". Thanks for listening....as always....God Bless
Walking beside you always.....Jacqueline PLH MayLyn's Momma
MayLyn....be my strength....know I miss you terribly each and everyday....the children are wonderful........your sister is a blessing to me.....and your Daddy talks your name out loud to me everyday. He knows I love to hear your name. I hope I make you proud in every way.....XOXOX...Momma
I am not sure why I am feeling like I am tonight.......I am truly sad.....truly blue.....wondering where it came from......knowing where it came from.......but not wanting to face the ugly truth.....life is not fair....I am really getting pissed off at the "not fairness" of it all.
Part of me gives "me" my own advice....tomorrow the sun will come up....the clouds will pass by....and all the other "wills" will happen.....but I feel empty, lost and saddened.
I thank my God everyday that I have the "Mom's" here to listen to me and to talk with. I think maybe the heat is killing part of my happy side. It is and can be so unbearable.
I have plans now....a future with true meaning...part of that is being true to myself...willing to put one foot in front of the other...willing to stumble and get right back up again.....I know I hold in my heart what my calling now is and I should be happy for myself, not saddened.
I think maybe I wish it could all end someday. No more losses, no more grief stricken Mothers, no more tears...and yet it goes on and on and on....this is not a road for the weak or the weary and sometimes I think I am the vice-president of the weak and weary club.
Yes I hear myself....I promise that once again tomorrow will come and the sun will shine and I will put my head on straight, I have too many people that depend on me to be strong...little do they know they are the well of strength that I tap into on a daily basis. Even when I do not write in my journal, do not speak to anyone, I am always reading and searching and listening to it all.
I pray this day that we all find that strength to tap into from whatever positive source that is out there, or here or just in your hearts or minds. When you feel as though you cannot go on...reach out for my hand and hold on tight...close your eyes and feel me next to you as I feel you next to me. Together we are so strong and we can ride this ride to the bitter end. It's what we do on the ride that counts.
I choose to be a survivor....I choose to live.....I choose life...I choose to be the one thing that no one person can take from me....I choose to be me.
I always feel so much better when I journal....I feel some of the weight lifting from me already....and I am grateful for that....it may sound like rambling or ranting but believe me......for today it has been screaming....crying....and once again asking "WHY????". Thanks for listening....as always....God Bless
Walking beside you always.....Jacqueline PLH MayLyn's Momma
MayLyn....be my strength....know I miss you terribly each and everyday....the children are wonderful........your sister is a blessing to me.....and your Daddy talks your name out loud to me everyday. He knows I love to hear your name. I hope I make you proud in every way.....XOXOX...Momma
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