Build me up buttercup

Well I want to delve into ways I can build my self esteem because I really do undermine myself. I have realised how negative I can be.. but also the potential for growing strength and positivity that I have. I want to find that and really make it shine because I get so down sometimes. Mainly though it's in relation to weight...I can admire for hours at a time slim and SKINNY women who have the look and can draw the eyes. I want to be aluring and sexy but most of all slim because I think everything - clothes, jewelerly, hair do's will look great on me then.Problem is the binge eating...  So..I'm starting back at uni, work, life, and everything and while I have goals that seem to remain pretty constant I do also have the short term failures that become long term failures before I know it and that is always it seems in this stinking diet department. I want to live long - but junk food is what makes me feel alive, energetic and fun and great! And it always seems worth it at the time because I know I detach my mind and go far far away in who knows fricking where land of my very own fatness. - So here's my stab at what I'm good at and the good things about me; I'm going to try and believe me... these don't come so easy * I have a likeable personality* I am laid back* I am a good singer/dancer* I am thoughtful* I have abs under this flab* I have goals Well I can't seem to pump any more out now... But that's something!! perhaps I'll try and build on it and then make a 'work on' list. Right now though I am pumping out the bad points so I dont want to give them weight. Out for now... till next we meet my web page...Spirit.