broken hearted... BUT moving forward.........

Today  I went back to my RE for an end of cycle check- AF arrived on Tues, I start Femara again tomorrow.  My wonderful RE seems more optimistic than me (us). I was so glad that bothmy hubby and I had today off work, so we could go get questions answered together. If anything, we are becoming an even better team than we were before.  My poor hubby.... we just sat and cried together on Monday when we got our news... I feel so awful.  He feels it too- I was glad we could share our emotions with one another, but it was so devestating. Our hopes were so high, though we tried to control them so much.   Next month we are following the same protocol, only one IUI again... if this doesn't work then we will do back to back IUI's next time. Then... onto injectibles. We'll see how much we can handle.  I am not all that enthusiastic about getting on this rollercoaster this month. I have already decided I am going to worry less about every little detail. It's up to God anyways- I can only do what I can scientifically... the rest is not in my hands. As a controller... it's HARD to face that. I am slowly getting there. This month was a HUGE wake up call. Maybe that was the intention--- I WILL STAY STRONG- THIS WILL NOT DEFEAT ME!!!!!!!!!!!