Broken Hearted and Catfish

So.....it's been 4 months since she left. 4 whole months. And it still hurts just as bad as the night she left me. Now, I know what all of my friends and family are thinking, "good riddance!" "You don't need her!" "She was no good anyway!" "Her lost!" All true statements. But it doesn't take the pain away. 6 years......6 years of my life I've given her. Through all the ups and downs, through all the issues, through all her medical problems, I've been there. I never gave up. This was her 3rd time leaving me. Not once did she leave b/c I was cheating. Not once did she leave b/c I did something wrong. No, she left b/c she doesn't know what she wants. Or is it that she was to be a lil slut. Or is it both. I don't know and probably never will. She never has a complete and reasonable explanation as to why she leaves. Then I hurt. I cry. I get depressed. I mourn for what we had. This last time, I though I could be strong, but of course, like every other time, I caved and begged her back. Prayed for things to go back as they were before, when we were overjoyed to be together. She hasn't come back. Then I got very mean and hurtful. Saying all sorts of things. Texting her for no reason so we could argue. I decided I should do that and tried to be friendly and sweet. Mainly b/c she has some depression issues and other health issues going on, that's she's had for a while, but finally seeking help for. I take her out of town for her birthday, hoping the alone time would help bridge us back together. It didn't. And I felt hurt but her attitude towards us once we returned. So now I'm back to trying to be as neutral to us as possible. Limited contact, since we have a child together. But that proves difficult. She still texts me. Still calls. Still wants to go do things together, even after I told her I couldn't handle it. She has been texting, talking, and screwing other guys but still wants to be around me. I can't handle that. She acts as if she can't stop talking to me. The says she understands when I tell her I can't handle it. But the very next day texts me saying it's too hard. AAARRRGGGHHH!!!! I'm so torn. I'm so confused. I'm so lost. Why can't she understand, it's either be my lover or be nothing at all. 
 
Now, this is crazy. I have a "friend" who supposedly lives in Illinois. We met online last July. We began emailing then texting. We just now started to talk on the phone. But the weird thing is, she doens't have a facebook, doesn't have a twitter, doesn't have an instagram, or anything. We can't video chat b/c she doesn't have a webcam and she doesn't have a smart phone. I've seen two pictures of her, that are online on different websites. I've done the image search and each results didn't lead me anywhere suspicious. I'm just suppose to take her word that she is who she is. Now, if it wasn't for Nev and Catfish, I wouldn't be skeptical, but its hard to believe anything nowadays. I've kinda started to really like her, but it's hard to invest myself into someone I don't even know is real. Ugh. This sucks.