BROKEN HEART

I have been married for 35 years. My husband left on New Years Eve and moved to a different state. My son got in some trouble and I didn't tell my husband. I know that was wrong however I have known this man for a long time and I believe he wouldn't help he would just hurt. He is a very judgemental person who thinks that he is perfect. I now feel like he is living the dream and I am surviving the nightmare. We talk on occasion starts out normal and than he says I am selfish. I have been reading up on narcissistic personality disorder but I no he thinks I am the one with all the problems. I cry myself to sleep every night. I miss him so very much and I don't know how to stop that. He says he wants to be friends and wants me to lean on him. How is this possible. Someone please help. I am literally falling apart. I love him with all my heart.