Broken & Beautiful

Mark Schultz - Broken & Beautifulhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHxkJ4cxk0Y There’s a businessman There’s a widowed wife There’s a smiling face with a shattered life There’s a teenage girl with a choice to make It’s crowded here in church today And the preacher says as the sermon ends Please close your eyes and bow your heads Is there anyone in need of prayer Jesus wants to meet you here ‘cause we all fall short We all have sinned But when you let God’s Grace break in… (Chorus) It’s beautiful Beautiful Come as you are Surrender your heart Broken and beautiful Well he’d never been to church before But he came today as a last resort His world was crashing in And he was suffocating in his sin But tears ran down As hope rushed in He closed his eyes Raised his hands Worshiping the God who can Bring him back to life again (Chorus) Cause there’s nothing more beautiful to God Than when his sons and daughters come Broken Alleluia Alleluia Come as you are Alleluia Alleluia Come as you are (Chorus) Alleluia Alleluia Come as you are (Come as you are) Surrender your heart Broken and beautiful Alleluia Alleluia Come as you are (Come as you are) Surrender your heart Broken and beautiful ~~~~~ I just had to share that before I wrote my entry for today.  Watch and listen to the video that I posted...it almost had me in tears.  I love this song.  I don't know where I first heard of Mark Schultz but back a few months ago when I was feeling down and was completely impulsive with my spending and had been working on cleaning my room....I came across a scrap of paper that had his name and the name of this song (which is also the title of the cd)...I did a quick search for it...and then ordered it.  Never listened to any of the music first or anything....just went for it.  Well, I immediately fell in love with this song...and as I continue listening to the cd I'm falling in love with the other songs as well.  God has truly given this man a gift and I can see his music bringing people to the Lord. ~~~~~ My throat seems to be better so far today.  I guess all the water, the vitamin C lozenges, and the Smarties ice cream must've done the trick!   I had a discussion on msn with Jay last night.  I was so afraid that telling him about my past and current struggles would scare him away but so far so good.  It came up that I spent a few months living in shelters and that brought up the questions of why which meant if I wanted to be honest I had to tell him everything.  So I did.  I let him ask questions and answered them as best as I could...and he's still talking to me.  So that's a good sign.  I told him about the cutting, and the overdoses, and that it's been as recent as February.  I said I can't guarantee I'll never do that stuff again but that I have handed that over to God and I know He'll help me with my struggles if I let Him.  It was a hard discussion, especially to have via instant messenger, but it went well.  I told him he can ask any questions anytime about it...I'm not going to hide it.  He asked if I have to wear long sleeves all the time.  I said no, since Feb I tend to wear elbow length sleeves or 3/4 length but in time I will again wear short sleeves.  I said that the scars are unfortuanetly a part of me now and I have to learn to live with them...plain and simple.  I also said I wish I hadn't done it, because that is true.  I see them everyday and wish that the most recent ones especially weren't there.  They make me sad to know I've hurt my body that way.  God doesn't want me to do that, but Satan knows my weaknesses and is darn good at pushing my buttons sometimes...and I let my guard down back then.  I went threw a few weeks of not wanting anything to do with God...and I regret that.  But, that's in the past now, and I have to live for the present and the future.  I also said to him that I know God will use my experiences to help others.  So, anyway, that's were things stand right now. In other news...I found out today my 16 year old nephew got himself into a bit of trouble last night.  I'm hoping it was a wake up call for him and will help him realize that his choices and his actions have consequences.  Him and his friends ordered a pizza and then when it came they grabbed it from the delivery driver and ran into the woods.  Well, later on when my nephew was at work the police came in and arrested him and took him to jail for awhile.  Not sure how long but he was able to go back to work before the end of his shift.   The kids ended up paying for the pizza (or pizzas) in the end and now he has a record until he's 18.  I think it probably gave him a bit of a scare and a wake up call.  I know when I was 14 I got caught shoplifting (first and last time I ever did that) and having to go into the backroom at the store and talk to the police and oh...that was so scary.  Gave me a wake up call...I know that.   Anyway...this journal entry is getting super long...and thinking into the past is apparently a little dangerous at the moment because I can feel my moods dropping.  So I will end this up....and get a bite to eat and do what I need to do.