Broken
I broke down on the phone with my boyfriend today. I am so at odds with myself. Maybe Im not cut out for long distance
relationships. I dont know. Ive been feeling lonely, neglected, and
uncared for. When we first met, I told
him that I was a woman that craved a lot of attention. He didnt seem to mind. I got phone calls and text from him all day,
and we made plans to spend time together as soon as we could. It seems now that he knows he has me so he isnt
putting in the same effort as he was before.
I texted him today, telling him that I was missing him and I
didnt want a day to pass when we didnt talk to each other. I didnt get a text back till late tonight
and all he tells me is that hes going to buy me body wash and a razor. I asked him why he said that and he answers
just because. Not good enough for me so
I call and tell him to explain. He tells
me that last time I visited I left a scent on the seat in his car. I tell him I probably sweated because he didnt
have air in his car and blah, HS, blah.
I told him that is why when we got back to his place I immediately took
a bath. He asks me can I shave down
there. Of course ppl with HS know that
shaving is a no-no but I had to explain it to him all again. I go so overwhelmed and embarrassed that I
just began to cry. I told him that I
know it was a lot to handle and that if he couldnt to let me go before I fell
in love with him. He said he does care
about me a lot and that he wouldnt be there if he didnt want to be with me.
It so hard to keep explaining the same thing over and over
again to people but I know deep down he is just trying to understand. I need him to understand. I am crazy about this guy but I dont know if
he can handle all that is me. He gives
me these looks when I talk to him about it and it makes me thing that he thinks
Im nasty and disgusting. It could be
all in my mind because hes never done anything to hurt me. I am in a very weak place emotionally. I feel lost and so very vulnerable. He there for me though. Its the little things he does that make me
so happy. I was in bed one night and I
was having some pain. I didnt want to
tell him but he knew something was wrong because I kept moving around in the
bed. He rubbed my back and said, Its
okay baby. Just try to go to sleep. Its like he knew. I guess I should tell him more, because he asks
and I just hold back because I dont want to overwhelm him. God help me do what is right and guide my
heart in the right direction.
relationships. I dont know. Ive been feeling lonely, neglected, and
uncared for. When we first met, I told
him that I was a woman that craved a lot of attention. He didnt seem to mind. I got phone calls and text from him all day,
and we made plans to spend time together as soon as we could. It seems now that he knows he has me so he isnt
putting in the same effort as he was before.
I texted him today, telling him that I was missing him and I
didnt want a day to pass when we didnt talk to each other. I didnt get a text back till late tonight
and all he tells me is that hes going to buy me body wash and a razor. I asked him why he said that and he answers
just because. Not good enough for me so
I call and tell him to explain. He tells
me that last time I visited I left a scent on the seat in his car. I tell him I probably sweated because he didnt
have air in his car and blah, HS, blah.
I told him that is why when we got back to his place I immediately took
a bath. He asks me can I shave down
there. Of course ppl with HS know that
shaving is a no-no but I had to explain it to him all again. I go so overwhelmed and embarrassed that I
just began to cry. I told him that I
know it was a lot to handle and that if he couldnt to let me go before I fell
in love with him. He said he does care
about me a lot and that he wouldnt be there if he didnt want to be with me.
It so hard to keep explaining the same thing over and over
again to people but I know deep down he is just trying to understand. I need him to understand. I am crazy about this guy but I dont know if
he can handle all that is me. He gives
me these looks when I talk to him about it and it makes me thing that he thinks
Im nasty and disgusting. It could be
all in my mind because hes never done anything to hurt me. I am in a very weak place emotionally. I feel lost and so very vulnerable. He there for me though. Its the little things he does that make me
so happy. I was in bed one night and I
was having some pain. I didnt want to
tell him but he knew something was wrong because I kept moving around in the
bed. He rubbed my back and said, Its
okay baby. Just try to go to sleep. Its like he knew. I guess I should tell him more, because he asks
and I just hold back because I dont want to overwhelm him. God help me do what is right and guide my
heart in the right direction.
Replies
People can be so cruel when they don\'t understand what we\'re going through, despite how much we explain to them. They don\'t realize little things that they might consider insignificant really hurt us when they\'re said. Maybe being more open with him will help, or at least take some weight off your shoulders. Carrying around all this without talking about it to significant others can really weigh you down. Hang in there, girl!
I\'m so sorry you are going through this. Some people can be thoughtless, even though they know about HS. If my husband told me to shower and shave down there because of a stinky cyst, I\'d probably belt him across the face LOL But that\'s just me. I hope things get better for you :)
He ended up leaving me. I knew he would. Now he wants me back but I am so over it. He finally saw that my skin didn\'t define me, now its too late