Brittle Diabetes

Due to some of my complications, my diabetes is very difficult to manage. Gastroparesis causes my food to break down much slower than normal, so I'm not able to dose for my meal right before I eat as most T1 diabetics are advised. What I eat, when I eat, and how much I eat all play a factor on how much insulin I should take.

Unfortunately, I find myself correcting for my sugars often a few hours later. Because sugar in my blood is from the food that has already been digested, I can accurately dose my insulin without the guess work. However, it starts to get a little more complicated when I'm correctly my blood sugar and trying to dose for food at the same time. 

I bolus for my blood sugar correction before I start eating as normal. I then do a second entry into my pump for the food I'm eating. My insulin pump has a feature that allows me to take a percentage of my dosage immediately while the remainder is slowly released over an established time period, usually 2 to 4 hours. 

I find myself skipping meals now, especially when my blood sugar readings have been good because I don't want to throw them off balance. It was so hard to get it there! Eating smaller meals helps but sometimes I drop low if I take insulin when I eat. Other times, my blood shoots up because I absorbed the sugar from my food faster than my insulin was released. It is so incredibly challenging.

It may go without saying, but I really regret my poor control earlier in life. I want to reach out to children and not scare them, but talk to them like real people. Talk to them about their fears, their challenges, and just listen to them. I didn't have that growing up, and I think I never dealt with my diabetes emotionally until I got much older. Now I understand the gravity of the disease and how serious the complications are if not managed properly. I am now at an even higher risk for worse problems because tight control seems almost impossible for me now.

I meet with my endo next month so I'm hoping she might be able to give me some insight. I also see a nutrionist soon. I know I'm going to have to make some lifestyle changes but hopefully it's all worth it in the end.