Breakthrough
I just figured out something from the night of the rape last year, that has been in my subconscious for a long time, and I am just now remembering. I believe my neigbor who raped me also raped the lady who lived at my apartment before me (possibly more that I am not aware of). Here is my line of thinking, and please tell me what you think: Lie: My neigbor kept saying that she was loud and having parties, and he didn't like it. He frequently went down there to tell her to be quiet. One night he went down there to be quiet, and she wanted to have sex with him. Truth: My neighbor was loud that night, and since she is of African descent would go up there, and politely ask him to turn down his television or anything that was loud, so he did, but while he was at it, lured her in by asking her if she wanted something to eat or drink, which he accomplished through rape. Here is why I have questions: Why does it seem like every woman that has lived near my neighbor since I have lived at my apartment has moved out? Why have they not talked to me when it happened or at least warned me of him? Why did he lie to me that night of the rape? Why did I believe him? What can I do about it now? Here is what I believe. I believe what I wrote up there is the truth because of how he said his lie to me that night and every time he talked about her to me. I believe every woman that has moved next to him moved away because of him raping her. He wanted us women to keep it a secret on the sex/rape, so since anyone who is raped is not very likely to speak up, they moved instead to be away from the perpetrator. What do you think? Why am I remembering this now? This bothers me. Any thoughts?
Replies
I think you are probably right in the reasons for so many moving away!
It sounds to me like this guy is a power rapist. He rapes, and for some reason, intimidates the women into not talking, even to each other. Can you move away from him? Or have you, already? I think you may well be working through some truths that you had supressed.
I say that you are remembering some thoughts that you surpressed-talk it out with your therapist--and continue to protect yourself!
I\'m praying with you and for you too.
I\'m not sure what to tell you...it sounds very plausible to me..I\'m here for you however you need
I wish I knew more about the memory process. I\'ve been going thru it a long time (not rape; other abuse stuff). When I\'ve checked it out, with people who I know wouldn\'t lie to me, my ideas have been slightly skewed. I\'ve pretty much given up asking, and am now working on to: \"If it happened, it happened. I can\'t change it, so how do I move on?\"
I don\'t know the history...have you reported this to anyone?