breaking up is hard to do

Recently broke up with my boyfriend who helped me through a lot during my darkest moment.  We met then.  He was very nice.  But throughout we have this long distance relationship.  If I am in US, he is in China.  When I am in China, he is in US.
Anyhow, a day ago he just wanted to be friends.  When asked, he said he would like to have the freedom to sleep with anyone when the opportunity arises. 
It cuts like a knife.  I cannot believe that one I trusted and think of highly as a gentlemen starts to think with his dick.
I love him and I still do.  This separation has brought all the grief and past hurt back.  My anxiety is high, I cried, I miss my son, I asked questions like "why" "what happen" "what can I do differently" "what should I have said or did not said" 
It is familar grief... every stop of it.  I cannot believe all the work and progress I made in the past just slip. 
The pain and sorrow are intense with the complication of my past hurt.
Now I am fearful.  Am I loveable?  Will I be alone for the rest of my life, and childless?