Breaking the news again
My stepson Justin called two nights ago from jail, and since his Dad was not home, I spoke to him. Near the end of the 15 minute conversation, he asked how Patrick and his family were doing. I felt like I had been kicked in the gut, took a breath and that I had spent the weekend with the baby and Patrick's wife was in Florida. I have never lied to that boy and did not feel at all comfortable misleading him now. Mercifully, the call was over and I hung up feeling a mix of emotions.
Justin's mother had thought it best not to tell him about Patricks death while he is in jail, because he would react badly, and up to now, we had honored that. Last night Justin called again and during the conversation, my husband Jeff told his son about Patrick. At about 9pm we got a call from Justin's Mom telling us that he had reacted badly to the news and was now on suicide watch at the jail.
I am feeling both guilty and grateful that he is where he can be watched. Was it really that important to tell him, or could I have just gotten over myself and let him find out later. We discussed the pros and cons of telling him now before we told him, but now I am sorry that he is suffering. Father please ease that boy's heart and cause him to feel a peace that only comes from You.
Justin's mother had thought it best not to tell him about Patricks death while he is in jail, because he would react badly, and up to now, we had honored that. Last night Justin called again and during the conversation, my husband Jeff told his son about Patrick. At about 9pm we got a call from Justin's Mom telling us that he had reacted badly to the news and was now on suicide watch at the jail.
I am feeling both guilty and grateful that he is where he can be watched. Was it really that important to tell him, or could I have just gotten over myself and let him find out later. We discussed the pros and cons of telling him now before we told him, but now I am sorry that he is suffering. Father please ease that boy's heart and cause him to feel a peace that only comes from You.
Replies
On some level I believe he might have already known. I think your husband followed the nudges of Spirit and told him when he needed to about Patrick. I\'m so sorry that he is in pain over this. As you said, he can be watched now and we simply cannot protect our loved ones from suffering. I feel it has been one of the hardest things to witness is the palpable sorrow within each over the loss of our children.
Hoping that Justin will work through this and one more thing to navigate through for all of you. Your prayers are being heard and I\'ll add one too for the peace and comfort that comes from our Creator.
Loving care to you today and take gentle care of yourself.
XO Joanie
I agree with Joanie. I understand his mother\'s feelings but really, he is in a place where he is protected as he comes to terms with it.
I hope Justin is able to deal with the news.
Love and hugs,
Marlene
It is so exhausting to keep secrets in a family, especially one that is so painful and raw! My heart extends out to you and I will pray for the whole family that all members are kept safe.
I have experienced this \"punch in the gut\" as well but believe that Truth is always the best path.
Sending love and prayers to you and your family,
Leda
He knew,,, he needed your validation,, that\'s why he asked.... I am glad he is in a safe place, and hopefully will get help..... love ya!
Thank you ladies. Your words really do help me see through the fog.
As you said...at least he is being watched.I am sure that everyone did what they felt was best in the situation. The pain would be there sooner or later...love and gentle hugs...Karen