Breaking news!
Well....it finally happened...I met with T on Friday evening....and wow I was certainly pleasantly surprised. For as much as he seemed to be the same Tony.....there was certainly some things that were different about him. Perhaps because I am different as well I don't know.....but it has been 5 long years that I have struggled with this and so glad that I listened to my "gut" and met him....
He was loving and understanding and very receptive to what I had to say to him.....we laughed, I cried and we talked about some of the things that went "wrong" in our relationship. Of course he never "fully" admits that there were other things going on that I suspected of but he definitely explained that he felt bad and it wasnt without regret. He did explain to me that he was very unhappy and every time he tried to communicate that to me, that I wasn't receptive to him.....which I understood what he meant. I said we should have tried to discuss it but we just never knew how to.....so I take some responsibility for that as well. I asked him if he was happy and he said some days he is; some days he is not. I told him that I felt uncomfortable in communicating with him....he said what do you think is going to happen? Like she is going to come and beat you up? I said no...he said she is still married and everything that I have belongs to me so if anything were to happen to she and I, she will have to pack her bags and leave...not me. WOW.....I said does your family know that she is married and he said yes. I'm not sure if I believe that but not my business.....
I left feeling good that we talked and sad for what could have been between us....I told him that I really want to be married and he said I should have asked you to marry me; we would have had a nice life of traveling together and both of us at a point where we are making good money.....I said yes....you should have.
Anyway......I just hope going forward that he can still be some what a part of my life and we can both move forward and know that we will always love one another....
He was loving and understanding and very receptive to what I had to say to him.....we laughed, I cried and we talked about some of the things that went "wrong" in our relationship. Of course he never "fully" admits that there were other things going on that I suspected of but he definitely explained that he felt bad and it wasnt without regret. He did explain to me that he was very unhappy and every time he tried to communicate that to me, that I wasn't receptive to him.....which I understood what he meant. I said we should have tried to discuss it but we just never knew how to.....so I take some responsibility for that as well. I asked him if he was happy and he said some days he is; some days he is not. I told him that I felt uncomfortable in communicating with him....he said what do you think is going to happen? Like she is going to come and beat you up? I said no...he said she is still married and everything that I have belongs to me so if anything were to happen to she and I, she will have to pack her bags and leave...not me. WOW.....I said does your family know that she is married and he said yes. I'm not sure if I believe that but not my business.....
I left feeling good that we talked and sad for what could have been between us....I told him that I really want to be married and he said I should have asked you to marry me; we would have had a nice life of traveling together and both of us at a point where we are making good money.....I said yes....you should have.
Anyway......I just hope going forward that he can still be some what a part of my life and we can both move forward and know that we will always love one another....
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