Breaking In or Out????

Hi there, my darling Peeps!  Well, it just had to be one of THOSE days today.  So sit back with your fav drink and prepare to imagine, giggle, and not choke on what you're drinking. OK, my Discipleship Course at church has been delayed for weeks due to my Teacher sold her house and they had to pack/move, then her husband had a heart attack and needed quad heart by-pass surgery, got thru that, then her dad was on the transplant list for lungs, so he was having health issues, then he passed suddenly.  OK, so like I totally understand all this and tell her "no worries, we'll get together whenever".   So today was the day we finally got to get together and here's where the FUNNIES start.  I get up at the break of dawn to get kids ready for school, let doggies out to answer nature's call, grab a cup of coffee, grab my scrubs and lay them out as well as face painting do-dahs as I have a face painting gig this evening, fold a load of laundry, take another load and put in dryer, run thru house and re-load the washer for the next load.  NO! THE COFFEE IS NOW COLD!  So, re-warm coffee in microwave.  CHUG said cup, take my meds and run out door in housecoat to get kids to bus stop all by 6:30 AM!  DAG GONE I'M GOOD!  GIVE ME AN OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL FOR SPEED AND MULTI-TASKING!  Return home to hubby dressed in housecoat, get shower, fix hair, makeup, and throw on my scrub (man I love these things).  I am now "ready" for my day.  Hubby leaves.  I dart around and get my Discipleship Course stuff together, put doggies away, and head out the door just a bit behind.  No worries, 70 mph will fix that if cops aren't around.    I lock the door, rush to the van, throw everything into van and go for the keys.........Yep, I've locked the keys in the house.   Rush to van, grab cell phone to call hubby to come let me in house.  That man needs a cell phone like an elephant needs a purse!  Of course, as usual, he DOES NOT HAVE IT ON! So I begin looking for ways to "break in".......back door locked because I'm so freaking thorough!  Window, nope, put a bar on it to prevent break in.  Again, I am so freaking thorough!  OK, one thing left....With a bad neck/back pull air conditioner out of bedroom window and enter. Now, I know this sounds easy but no, it ain't.  I hurt my back/neck and dropped the air conditioner.  JOY!    So, then I have no ladder and I can't just get in the window.  NO PROBLEM.  Locate a set of trailer ramps (again, heavy and  have no business getting them with neck/back being bad).  Drag it over to the window and heave my big butt up into window.   Well, technically, I'm only HALF WAY in and HALF WAY out because my legs don't work due to the back.  Again JOY!So iI do finally manage to get my "good" side with the right leg up into window and basically fall into my own home.  Ok, so I don't have grace but I make up for it in determination.    Find my keys ON THE KITCHEN TABLE WHERE I'D HAD TO RE-HEAT THE COFFEE, and again I go back, dead bolt the window in bedroom and dash to the outside.  Yes, MORON with bad back/neck then picks up air conditioner cause I can't leave it in the yard for someone to steal! So, I dial on my cell phone to Teacher I will be late and why as I am lugging the A/C to the car huffing and puffing and praying not to die, fall, or do more damage to back/neck.  She says don't worry. I make the trip which is 20-25 mins in 15, as I stated prior 70 mph if no cops are looking and people, I got skills!  These curvy roads in WV and Jeff Gordon couldn't have caught me. OK, so get back home, go get hubby's stuff at the pharmacy, get the mail at the PO, and come home USING MY KEYS TO GET IN FRONT DOOR, then return to van and haul it back into house praying the whole time, load A/C back into window so hubby won't KNOW, then I go to my office  and OK, and my fountain in my office is almost empty. That's not right. Yep, that bad baby leaked and what a mess. Cleaned up mess, repaired fountain.  ROFLOL  LOVE & HUGS MY PEEPS.   Now, please feel free to nominate me to whatever organization you feel I qualify:1-Super Woman who can't leap anything2-Ingenuity & Determination3-Needing Psychiatric help4-Lose weight so I can get in window instead of hanging half in and half out! ROFLOL  LOVE & HUGS MY PEEPS.  Yes, my back/neck are KILLING ME!  PS --- I prefer to think of my episodic insane life as a loooooong lesson. ROFLOL    However, I am not sure of my grade but I am learning "keys in hand, then lock door". LOL  It honestly GOT WORSE! Yep, had spoken with my daughter in law and was asking about something via cell and unknown to me my son was standing there while she was laughing insanely. Of course she had to tell her husband, my son, who later came for a visit and BLABBED THE WHOLE ADVENTURE to my husband. Oh, joy! ROFLOL  "LUCY, YOU GOT SOME SPLAININ' TO DO!"  ROFLOL