Breaking Habits
I will now break the rules and write my 300 words at night. Because I feel like a differrent person at night. Like the real me. The me I used to be before this infernal bipolar bullshit came into my life.
Me being me I dont even know if I am bipolar. Ive taken shit loads of pills for the last 3 or 4 years and never felt any better. But how would I feel without them? How would I act?
It's a nightmare....sometimes I wonder if the pills are making me sick. What effect would psychiatric pills have on a person who is well? I am hoping Dr Chandra will let me reduce the pills I am taking. 12 a day-Olanzapine, lithium, epilim and prozac...
I feel so much better at night -I can't believe I'll drop back to 1/10 overnight-but i always do.
Unless I stayed up all night. And that Im not allowed to do. Anyway havent got enough to do to occupy myself all night.
A friend has come on line but I want to finish this.
Tomorrow Im meeting up for my weekly session with Lisa- my peer support worker. I really like her a lot-she is so supportive and down to earth. She encourages me when I lose faith in myself. And she comes up with a fresh way of looking at things. Like I say Ive done nothing all week and she will draw out of me that actually I have done a lot.
I dont know what I can do to get better from this BP-especially the depression....
I guess I can continue to try to ignore it and remind myself that by 1 or 2 I am starting to feel better as I get to work and take my mind off feeling so negative.
In the meatime I am continuing to keep my mood chart, my weight chart and walk Arnie so I am putting constructive elements into my day.
Is this 300 words? Not quite i don't think.
So habits I need to cultivate.
Optimism-that I will feel better each day.
Walking and weight loss programme-confident that it will work-esp if I get into the habit of avoiding fattening "treats".
300 words - to keep in touch with myself.
Read more to nourish my spirit and distract myself from the blues.
Be grateful for all the good things that happen to me each day.
Be grateful for Ivan and Arnie and Bryan.
Try to be a bit deeper in my meditations. Try to use the Teflon Mind technique to avoid negative thoughts.
Every day is a fresh opportunity to live my life well. I will remember to reread this note to myself tomorrow when Im feeling sad and maybe the truth of it will get through my thick skull!
Me being me I dont even know if I am bipolar. Ive taken shit loads of pills for the last 3 or 4 years and never felt any better. But how would I feel without them? How would I act?
It's a nightmare....sometimes I wonder if the pills are making me sick. What effect would psychiatric pills have on a person who is well? I am hoping Dr Chandra will let me reduce the pills I am taking. 12 a day-Olanzapine, lithium, epilim and prozac...
I feel so much better at night -I can't believe I'll drop back to 1/10 overnight-but i always do.
Unless I stayed up all night. And that Im not allowed to do. Anyway havent got enough to do to occupy myself all night.
A friend has come on line but I want to finish this.
Tomorrow Im meeting up for my weekly session with Lisa- my peer support worker. I really like her a lot-she is so supportive and down to earth. She encourages me when I lose faith in myself. And she comes up with a fresh way of looking at things. Like I say Ive done nothing all week and she will draw out of me that actually I have done a lot.
I dont know what I can do to get better from this BP-especially the depression....
I guess I can continue to try to ignore it and remind myself that by 1 or 2 I am starting to feel better as I get to work and take my mind off feeling so negative.
In the meatime I am continuing to keep my mood chart, my weight chart and walk Arnie so I am putting constructive elements into my day.
Is this 300 words? Not quite i don't think.
So habits I need to cultivate.
Optimism-that I will feel better each day.
Walking and weight loss programme-confident that it will work-esp if I get into the habit of avoiding fattening "treats".
300 words - to keep in touch with myself.
Read more to nourish my spirit and distract myself from the blues.
Be grateful for all the good things that happen to me each day.
Be grateful for Ivan and Arnie and Bryan.
Try to be a bit deeper in my meditations. Try to use the Teflon Mind technique to avoid negative thoughts.
Every day is a fresh opportunity to live my life well. I will remember to reread this note to myself tomorrow when Im feeling sad and maybe the truth of it will get through my thick skull!
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