Breaking Down
I just don't know. I'm trying real hard to get through every day. But, I think I am losing. My body is breaking down. I have Hepatitis C, and it is attacking my body. I am sure the stress overload has a lot to do with that.
I wake up everyday in pain from the tendonitis and spondylolisthesis. Now my teeth are falling out and every virus or infection that comes around I get it. I am on a steroid inhaler which is causing yeast infections, repeatedly. I can't feel comfortable in my own body. How am I suppose to handle all this emotional abuse and the pressure of being the only person to take care of anything around here.
The stress is eating me up and now my bod is reacting to it. I can't get my dad or son to understand that. You can't see my illness's so they just think I'm a nut case. My dad actually thinks I need to go to " home". Is he out of his mind. I am not crazy. I am overloaded with stress and depression.
My dad is 91. He has alwaqys been a little different. He won't go anywhere. He doesn't like people. He won't bathe and he has let this house rot and now expects me to live with it. I can't live with water damage and knats. He is a pack rat. He can't throw anything away.. This house is packed from floor to ceiling. It drives me bonkers. I can't stand the clutter. But, he gets very angry any time I try to get rid of anything. He is also losing his mental capacities but still treats me like a child. He won't listen to anything I say. Now, if it comes from a man he will listen. Woman don't know anything, that's his thinking. We are just supposed to wash and clean up after the men.
On top of that is this crap with my son. Calling me names and cussing me. I really wish it would stop' I would like to have my life back.
Gotto go , getting spied on.
I wake up everyday in pain from the tendonitis and spondylolisthesis. Now my teeth are falling out and every virus or infection that comes around I get it. I am on a steroid inhaler which is causing yeast infections, repeatedly. I can't feel comfortable in my own body. How am I suppose to handle all this emotional abuse and the pressure of being the only person to take care of anything around here.
The stress is eating me up and now my bod is reacting to it. I can't get my dad or son to understand that. You can't see my illness's so they just think I'm a nut case. My dad actually thinks I need to go to " home". Is he out of his mind. I am not crazy. I am overloaded with stress and depression.
My dad is 91. He has alwaqys been a little different. He won't go anywhere. He doesn't like people. He won't bathe and he has let this house rot and now expects me to live with it. I can't live with water damage and knats. He is a pack rat. He can't throw anything away.. This house is packed from floor to ceiling. It drives me bonkers. I can't stand the clutter. But, he gets very angry any time I try to get rid of anything. He is also losing his mental capacities but still treats me like a child. He won't listen to anything I say. Now, if it comes from a man he will listen. Woman don't know anything, that's his thinking. We are just supposed to wash and clean up after the men.
On top of that is this crap with my son. Calling me names and cussing me. I really wish it would stop' I would like to have my life back.
Gotto go , getting spied on.
Replies
Awww Briste! I am sorry that you are having a bad time. Its frustrating when we are suffering but on the outside it doesn\'t show. Can you call in Protective Adult Services for your dad? Do you have Power of Attorney?
I like a tidy house too and its driving me crazy now, because when I had a good day I started to clean and then quit. So I have disasters in every room.
Sending prayers for your body to hold on.
Saw that you got a tooth pulled. Hope you are getting better and in less pain.
Sending gentle hugs
Thank you hun. Yes it is hard when your illness isn\'t visable. My family doesn\'t understand or they are just in denial. And I have grown very tired of explaining it over and over again.
No I don\'t have power of attorney, my uncle does. They are controlling me. They also put my uncles name on the house, they think I don\'t know. I am in a catch 22....either the estate pays me to stay and take care of dad or I try for disability (which you know could take forever and won\'t be enough money anyway). They are sending a small stippance every month to take care of dad. They don\'t want him to go to a home:although, we just had an attorney decree that he is not in his right mind. That\'s when he signed everything over to my uncle. And I have to send my uncle a statement every month telling him what I spent the $800.on. That\'s barely enough to cover my basic bills let alone have a life.They said it was because they \"don\'t want me to just sit around and do nothing\". So, I still have to make money on the side. So, dispite my injuries, I still have to do a few dogs and I have a small business on eBay. But, that isn\'t very much money. I can\'t get ahead this way.
I don\'t know why my family thinks I am lazy or a moocher or whatever. I don\'t know what dad has said about me all these years. And I don\'t car anymore. I have always had a job and have supported my boys by myself. I owned a house for 16 years. What makes them think I am lazy. My dad. They don\'t know me. All they know is what he has said. Apparently he doesn\'t think much of me. \"Your like a burr\", thanks dad.
I\'m sorry I just unloaded on you.
Thank you for your caring. You are helping me more than you know.
Take care \"SingYourGutsOut\". Message me anytime. I want to be there for you as well. Friend :)
My dad has me by the short hairs. I am disabled an unable to keep a full time job. I totaled my car and have no savings. I have no where to go. They know that. So, they took advantage of it.
The house has been mine since my mother died in 1979. But, somehow my uncle and father have manipulated her will so much that I won\'t get the house till dad dies. And he has let it fall apart. It is in really bad shape.