breaking up

My boyfriend and I got into a huge fight and he broke up with me. But he came home and now he says hes not sure, that he doesn't know what he wants to do. I don't want to talk about it yet, but my heart is breaking. I'm miserable, I need him. I hate this feeling of dangling on a string, barely holding on. I've lost my entire family. A year ago I was waiting for my Sophia and waiting to have my new family here, and now she's dead and my Anthony is talking about leaving me. How can I keep living?! I'M SO SICK OF EVERYTHING FALLING APART ON ME. I need help... I just need a reason to keep living and keep going, cause all I want to do is crawl under a rock and hide forever. I'm sick of fighting to hold onto a life that God is intent on ripping out of my hands.