breaking up
My boyfriend and I got into a huge fight and he broke up with me. But he came home and now he says hes not sure, that he doesn't know what he wants to do. I don't want to talk about it yet, but my heart is breaking. I'm miserable, I need him. I hate this feeling of dangling on a string, barely holding on. I've lost my entire family. A year ago I was waiting for my Sophia and waiting to have my new family here, and now she's dead and my Anthony is talking about leaving me. How can I keep living?! I'M SO SICK OF EVERYTHING FALLING APART ON ME. I need help... I just need a reason to keep living and keep going, cause all I want to do is crawl under a rock and hide forever. I'm sick of fighting to hold onto a life that God is intent on ripping out of my hands.
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I wish I had the words to wipe away all of the ills of life. All I can say is when you feel like you have completely hit rock bottom... lay on your back and take a look at where you want to be in life and strive for the top. It gets greater later...
I can relate to how you feel. The only 2 great loves of my life (besides my immediate family) were my ex-husband (who had a mental break and hasn\'t been the same when we were reconciling years ago) and my baby girl Imani, and I lost both of them. Just last week I was asking why is it that everyone I really, really loved was taken from me. It\'s a horrible feeling to love so very much and lose that love. Then something happened on Sunday morning that has made something in me shift slightly. My 18 yr old niece, who means the world to me, was hit the 1st day she was driving my car to her job in the am. A lady was speeding and hit the car really hard. My car is totaled (so now I am carless for the moment) but my niece is OK. I am so grateful that she is still here and OK, that I had to remind myself I have other people I love in my life, and I need to try to live more for them. My life will never be the same, I will never be the same, but Imani will always be my baby. No one can ever take that from me.
You are already dealing with the tremendous loss of losing your precious Sophia, so dealing with any relationship problems just intensifies your sense of loss and sadness. Hang in there though! If it is meant for you and Anthony to work through any issues and be together you will. No matter what, I know Sophia would want you, her mommy, to eventually be happy again one day and to live your life to the fullest until you can be together again. It is not easy, but don\'t give up!