Break up
(maybe the Title is rambling!) Patrick has recently broke up with me, again. He also has a head injury, but he sustained it as a teenager. I have to have compassion for him because he does not know how to think as a 40 year old adult, heck there are alot of things in life he doesnt know because of his head injury and he has been so coddeled all his life by everyone. I know that alot of what he says and does is not his fault, but it sure hurts. I am want to be his friend but I am having alot of trouble going backward (thats what I call it) in our relationship, especially when he doesnt know or understand the differance. I dont know, all I do know is that I hurt and I do know from past experience is that this hurt just doesnt go away quickly (but it has been over 3 weeks!). I know there are alot of things that I have to work with him about, but why should I? If I care like that, it hurts and gets very frustrating because he takes it as a sign as love and forgiveness. He doesnt feel he can be a grandfather, I have three adorable grandchildren, he hasnt even been a father yet. (jeeze my son didnt ask me permission to give me a grandchild!) Then he calls me the next day and he has met an old girlfriend and she is willing to give him the children he wants so we are over, then a few hours later he is calling me again trying to get back together because it didnt work out with this old girlfriend. sometimes he makes me so angry i could spit, but it is not his fault right? He got his head injury 30 years ago, the same things were not known about the recovery as 12 years ago and maybe he is not able to learn now. I dont know, all I do know is I hurt! at least I am past the feeling horrible stage!!
Replies
Today i am feeling a little better, things are still very difficult between Patrick and I. I am in a weird place because it is not his fault, it is his head injury is why he is the way he is. He had his head injury when he was 17, so he is a 40 year old 17 year old. He is only able to think about life\'s circumstances like a child, he has no idea how to think of them like an adult and because of the head injury he doesnt have that ability to learn. I am having problems with our \"relationship\" that is now and can only be a \"friendship.\" I guess that is what friendship\'s are is relationships, but it is difficult to think of him as just a friend and not love him the same way as I do, because if I love him the way I do......it hurts. I dont want to be a martyr in hopes that some day he\'ll see if differantly, because he wont, he cant. any ideas anyone?
I have been cleaning house for this couple for about 5 years and all the sudden he has started showing up everywhere I am, I ride the bus and he is always driving by the bus stop when I am waiting for it, in two differant towns! I had to have my phone number changed because he called me almost every 15 minutes from 6am to 4 or 5 pm. I also had to have their number blocked on my cell phone because he would go back and forth between the two. I was so extremely stressed I was hiding behind objects until he drove by and catching the bus and getting off the bus in differant places, then walking home differant routes but i still saw his car. i talked with my brother and he went with me a couple of times, saw what he was like, and had a discussion with him but this guy was still obsessed. so i went to the police and got a no-contact order, and that helped me mental and emotional state considerable. I am thinking that I will make sure my phone and my camera has a date stamp and start taking pictures of him every time I see him. You know, it is weird it has been many years or at least before head injury since i have lived this kind of lifestyle and I dont like how I feel. I have dealt with alchohalism all my life so I should be able to remember what to do and how to handle situations but it is something that i have not taught myself how to do after my head injury. Now that I have gotten my brother involved and the police, it\'s really helped because I don\'t have to handle this creep by myself,