Braydens 15 weeks

Hey everyone. Sorry I never update anymore its hard getting anything done with a baby who expects attention all the time. I had to leave him at his grandmas yesterday where I could clean my house. LoL. I cant believe Brayden will be 4 months old in 11 days! Where does the time go? Hes getting SOOO big. I need to weigh him I havent weighed him in a few weeks and he was almost 18lbs then. I'd say hes close to 20 now,...and hes very tall Id say probably 27 or 28 inches. I cant believe how much they change so fast. Hes getting so smart.....he'll give you kisses well he will open his mouth all the way and try to eat your face but its cute lol. If your not paying attention to him he'll yell at you and then he'll smile when he sees your paying attention to him...but if you stop paying attention to him he'll yell again. Its so funny! I started taking my medicine again and I feel alittle better. I still feel down alot, but I can tell Im happy more than I was. I dont know what my problem is. I think I feel worse because Ive gained some weight since I had Brayden....with the depression medicine, the birth control,...and I eat to much chocolate and drink to many energy drinks. I guess I think they make me feel better but really in the end it just makes me feel worse. I really want to loose some of this weight, but I dont have time to go to the gym and work out. After I get off work all I want to do it go home and spend time with Brayden before he goes to sleep. I dont even like cooking dinner because I want all the time I can get with Brayden. He goes to bed at like 8:30 and some nights I dont get home till almost 7,...on a normal night I get home about 5. So that makes me more depressed. My depression didnt start till I had my 2nd miscarriage. I thought after I had a baby the depression would go away, but it hasnt. I know its affecting my marriage and I just dont know what to do to make it better. Im taking my medicine but I still dont feel like I was before this all started. Which if you think about it I guess I probably never will be exactly the same....I've lost 4 babies and I guess no one would be the same after that. But I want to be happy again and I want to enjoy my husband like I used to. Lately I'd rather just be left alone then for him to be around me. I get upset with him if he tries to kiss me or if he touches me. I feel awful! I just want to be back to myself. Im gonna give it a few more weeks since I just started taking my meds again a couple weeks ago. If I still dont feel better I'm going to go back to the doctor. I think I just need to take my medicine like I was supposed to in the first place. I guess that goes to show that when you think your better you still need to continue to take your medicine.My MIL is driving me CRAZY!!!!! She keeps trying to tell me Im doing stuff wrong with Brayden its making me soooooooo mad. I try to ignore her but its really been getting to me lately. The one day she threw a fit and was freakin out when I put Braydens bottle in the microwave to warm it up with the nipple on it. She took the nipple off it and put it back in the microwave. She said I was going to give him radiation by putting it in the microwave. I researched online and it said nothing about it just that the bottles get hotspots and you shouldnt put any plastic in the microwave because bpa....but his bottles are bpa free. So anyways I tried to ignore that....well lastnight she came over to get something from Dennie and Brayden was watching TV. Shes like isnt he sitting to close to the TV, he cant sit that close he'll have to wear glasses when he gets older. Then she pulled him back away from the TV and said there thats about where he should be sitting. I wanted to tell her to get the **** out of my house and let me raise my child the way I want to.....but I didnt! I guess theres nothing I can really do or say, besides ignore her. But Im afriad one day Im going to snap and scream at her. Shes driving me MAD! LoL. Well thats about it for now. I guess I dont really have a positive journal this time! Oh wait...I called my insurance and she said they do cover the IUD. So I made an appointment for the 13th to go see the doctor. They are supposed to send a precertification to my insurance and call me before my appointment and make sure I dont have to pay anything. So the birth control situation is solved!!! YAY. Well I better go .TTYL! Hugs Monica.