Brand new to site and to a new life

Hello everyone!  I need you guys.  I found this site over 10 years ago and came back time after time no really wanting to changed.  I like to complain about change, but have never had the faith to do the right thing.  Until I had a heart attack last week.  Certainly speed had something to do with it, along with depression, PTS, and other things.  It was a wake up call.  And as to the ultimate test, I met "the dealer" to pay him off just a few minutes ago.  He tried everything he could to offer me speed.  Sure, it would have helped for about 10 minutes, but I would literally die.  I stood up to it!  The root of my addiction is PTS, codependency, fear in general, lack of faith, and unhealthy relationships.  Business, personal and opposite sex.  I need some encouragement please!   And I do reciprocate.  I hope to be a solid role model in these rooms, and am eager to give testimony.  Thanks much!