brads death-it will be 13 months on June 22.

ß Tuesday it will be 13 months that I lost my Brad.And what a month it was! I have grown as a person and have developed new interests.Not friends.Interests such as opera and trvel.I never had thse interests when Brad was alive.I am also cooking again and I cook pretty good.I look for work almost everyday and i have got applications into 17 different places.No ones hiring and I am getting to be discouraged.I feel so alone.Why Brad left me at 62...I will never know.Why Brad took his own life...I will never know and I have stopped trying to figure out why.Brad was a full blown alcoholic and when he took his life he wasnt thinking clearly.I am at the verge of losing my house and becoming homeless.This was happened to me in the early 1990s here and I hate shelter life.I refuse to live in a shelter or give up my cats.My cats are the world to me and they know it.Little Tooey is a nice little cat and she is my cat.She is smart and she knows it.She was adopted from a shelter and she sleeps on my bed every night.Kramer is a happy cat and was adopted in 1998.She is like a 3 year old child and she loved Brad.Kramer protects me and for this I am grateful.I cant hear very well and since I hurt my leg..I dont walk very well.I am using a cane as of now and I am in constant pain.I pulled a hamstring and it is painful and I cant wait to get rid of the cane..I( feel like an old lady.I am 62 and i love being 62 for I am finding out that retirement isnt for complainers.And when I am 65....in three more years...I am going back to college.I intend to take up jazz singing.And then I will continue with my goals.