Brads 51 birthday and I am alone again by vader

 Today Brad would have been 51 and this pain is growing.He is all I think about and where I am I cant get any help.If you are on a limited income in seattle,there is really no help available in seattle.Oh yeah,you can get help,but the help I am getting isnt that good enough.I am going thru extreme loneliness.And it is a pain that I cannnot  even describe.It is a pain in the heart and today I cried and spent the whole day in my pajamas.Now I am not saying that my relationship with Brad was perfect.It wasnt.We were just two different people.Brad always said that I was different.But in the end,Brad could not cope with my Mood Swings.I tried to talk to Brad..but it did not work out.Mood Swings are common with Bi Polar and mine change almost every day.Some days I feel bad and some I feel happy but I know that they are not normal.I am trying to live every day without mood swings but it is  impossible.And I realize this I will never love again and I will live the rest of my life in seattle and I will live and die alone.
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