Boston/Cape Retreat!
As I am looking at this picture once again I saw that I have not put my experience, comment on here. I remember now that I was going to come back to this journal and found that I hadn't. I am So Sorry Ann, this was late, better late then never, Right!!!
I am so happy to see all my friends this year, especially meeting the newest moms. It was such an amazing experience having you all in Boston this year. As I was looking at each and every single mom in this Group Picture I can see the peace in each of us.. It is my favorite group picture also. Especially after watching each and everyone go through the start, on the bus ride to the Cape, was So nice to share the ride with Gretchen, "Gretcho" Michele's mom. It amazes me from past retreats how cool it is to watch the days unfold as it's suppose to, I BELIEVE! The mini retreat with Joan Anderson was incredible, it was mean't to be for her as well as it was for us. This was the class I finally had that hit home with me, it was what I had been searching for through the years, all in one day, it was all I needed to bond with you awesome moms and finally felt the Love open my heart and filled up with Love and the comfort of each of you as Oneness, WE the MOMS are together for this same reason.. I felt way more connected with Joan Anderson, to me it was like a channel which flowed through each of us, it opened our hearts and replaced our Amputated Soul which made us a whole again.. For me I needed every bit of the Pain to see again, blind faith wasn't working for me any more, my heart and soul has been broken to many times by me myself, it wasn't anyone else to blame, I surpressed SO Much STUFF as tight as a drum I had know clue how I allowed people places and things hurt me by being silent and not thinking I belonged anywhere, especially with a room full of woman..I had a Spiritual experience, Spiritual awakening, what ever we want to think of it as..I am NOT that POWERFUL, I AM POWERLESS and I need to remember this on a daily basis..I've Got The "ISM" (I)ncredible (S)hort (M)emory.. YA THat is ME, or (I) (S)abotage (M)yself.. YA THATS ME!! .. I do worry about what people think of me, Others Opinion about me... OH NO I always put this wall up to surpress my pain and feelings..
This 2013 Boston/Cape Retreat learned me So much more about what Kelly NEEDS... WithOut ALL You Moms, through my 4 years of Retreat Experiences.. Each one was very Special to me, I felt more Pain at this retreat, it ended up the best experience ever...Processing this took me a little longer this year..I was more emotional at this retreat, then ever...
I have to tell YOU Moms I have a hard time crying and this RETREAT it all came out, I cried all weekend, I also laughed alot too. Thats my favorite thing to do "LIVE- LAUGH-LOVE", as I am looking at that sign on my wall, its been there for 13 years and I'm just seeing it today..Just Saying!!
The one thing I was not happy with is the Friday night room, it wasn't organized the way I thought it should of been, no communication, I wish I thought more about taking that persision and I wasn't thinking, I am Sorry for that, I should of took it into my hands knowing how all the other friday night retreats were more orginized..I should of taken it unpon myself, knowing Sharon had only been to 1 retreat before this.. SORRY, The room and the confusion, Sharon and I weren't happy about it..BUT as it turned out the safe of the night was the cocktail party outside was great.. Its what I like best is mingling..I felt terrible, I wish that I brought bags like in the past and had them there for others to place what they wanted before it started.. I didn't know any thing about it until the last minute..I brought 7 grieving books to put on the tables, l ended up bringing them back home with me..I brought most of my books at the Gatlinburg retreat 4 yrs ago.. I probaly had 30 of them.. that was good.. O'well like I said I am POWERLESS over people places and "THINGS".. LOL BOOKS ARE THINGS LOL!!
I guess I'm not a retreat do-er, I know one thing I am a retreat go-er.. Did I see these same words before some place.. Every Retreat I've been to has been Great!!! Reguardless
The mini retreat was the most cleansing for the body and soul, it allowed me to take a look at me and accept who I am as a person.. Finally met my Spiritual Teacher!! Joan Anderson, All you wonderful moms on the BOARD, the Moms who entered my heart and soul. Thank You Moms for the wonderful gifts, I love them. MOST of ALL My Perfect gift was having all us moms and our children with us at this retreat!!!! We are now part of Walking a Sacred path, the book says Rediscovering the Labyrinth as a Spiritual practice..."PRACTICE"... Losing a child will always be like Practice, like doctors do practice on US!! Acceptance it the hardest of all!! LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!! MUAH!! Kelly
I am so happy to see all my friends this year, especially meeting the newest moms. It was such an amazing experience having you all in Boston this year. As I was looking at each and every single mom in this Group Picture I can see the peace in each of us.. It is my favorite group picture also. Especially after watching each and everyone go through the start, on the bus ride to the Cape, was So nice to share the ride with Gretchen, "Gretcho" Michele's mom. It amazes me from past retreats how cool it is to watch the days unfold as it's suppose to, I BELIEVE! The mini retreat with Joan Anderson was incredible, it was mean't to be for her as well as it was for us. This was the class I finally had that hit home with me, it was what I had been searching for through the years, all in one day, it was all I needed to bond with you awesome moms and finally felt the Love open my heart and filled up with Love and the comfort of each of you as Oneness, WE the MOMS are together for this same reason.. I felt way more connected with Joan Anderson, to me it was like a channel which flowed through each of us, it opened our hearts and replaced our Amputated Soul which made us a whole again.. For me I needed every bit of the Pain to see again, blind faith wasn't working for me any more, my heart and soul has been broken to many times by me myself, it wasn't anyone else to blame, I surpressed SO Much STUFF as tight as a drum I had know clue how I allowed people places and things hurt me by being silent and not thinking I belonged anywhere, especially with a room full of woman..I had a Spiritual experience, Spiritual awakening, what ever we want to think of it as..I am NOT that POWERFUL, I AM POWERLESS and I need to remember this on a daily basis..I've Got The "ISM" (I)ncredible (S)hort (M)emory.. YA THat is ME, or (I) (S)abotage (M)yself.. YA THATS ME!! .. I do worry about what people think of me, Others Opinion about me... OH NO I always put this wall up to surpress my pain and feelings..
This 2013 Boston/Cape Retreat learned me So much more about what Kelly NEEDS... WithOut ALL You Moms, through my 4 years of Retreat Experiences.. Each one was very Special to me, I felt more Pain at this retreat, it ended up the best experience ever...Processing this took me a little longer this year..I was more emotional at this retreat, then ever...
I have to tell YOU Moms I have a hard time crying and this RETREAT it all came out, I cried all weekend, I also laughed alot too. Thats my favorite thing to do "LIVE- LAUGH-LOVE", as I am looking at that sign on my wall, its been there for 13 years and I'm just seeing it today..Just Saying!!
The one thing I was not happy with is the Friday night room, it wasn't organized the way I thought it should of been, no communication, I wish I thought more about taking that persision and I wasn't thinking, I am Sorry for that, I should of took it into my hands knowing how all the other friday night retreats were more orginized..I should of taken it unpon myself, knowing Sharon had only been to 1 retreat before this.. SORRY, The room and the confusion, Sharon and I weren't happy about it..BUT as it turned out the safe of the night was the cocktail party outside was great.. Its what I like best is mingling..I felt terrible, I wish that I brought bags like in the past and had them there for others to place what they wanted before it started.. I didn't know any thing about it until the last minute..I brought 7 grieving books to put on the tables, l ended up bringing them back home with me..I brought most of my books at the Gatlinburg retreat 4 yrs ago.. I probaly had 30 of them.. that was good.. O'well like I said I am POWERLESS over people places and "THINGS".. LOL BOOKS ARE THINGS LOL!!
I guess I'm not a retreat do-er, I know one thing I am a retreat go-er.. Did I see these same words before some place.. Every Retreat I've been to has been Great!!! Reguardless
The mini retreat was the most cleansing for the body and soul, it allowed me to take a look at me and accept who I am as a person.. Finally met my Spiritual Teacher!! Joan Anderson, All you wonderful moms on the BOARD, the Moms who entered my heart and soul. Thank You Moms for the wonderful gifts, I love them. MOST of ALL My Perfect gift was having all us moms and our children with us at this retreat!!!! We are now part of Walking a Sacred path, the book says Rediscovering the Labyrinth as a Spiritual practice..."PRACTICE"... Losing a child will always be like Practice, like doctors do practice on US!! Acceptance it the hardest of all!! LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!! MUAH!! Kelly
Replies
It was really nice to meet you on the retreat!! I did enjoy the cocktails on the patio and the mingling the best on Friday too!!
It was wonderful meeting you at the retreat and all the other mothers too. I am so glad I went...xoxoxo
Hey my friend! Hope you are doing well! I especially hope that Erica is healing fully and quickly! This is a very beautiful journal which reflects your beautiful spirit and wonderful person that you are! And yes, the retreat was amazing! Every retreat I\'ve been on has been uniquely great and memorable. I too am a retreat \"go-er\". :) Love you! Diane
Planning a retreat takes a village and you ALL did an AMAZING job! I loved it and it\'s always a work in progress and learning experience each year that is for sure. :)
Grateful that you shed some layers of grief as I always feel that too and I must come home a few pounds \"less\" from the \"release.\"
Love you and thank you for your reflections about the retreat! It was the d\'bomb! :)
Wishing you a gentle day dear Kelly and I too hope that Erica is on the mend. What a scare that was!
Tightest of hugs and a big muah right back to YOU!
XO Joanie
Kelly thank you for sharing the retreat weekend experience. After reading all the journals on the retreat I feel like I actually attended.
Great Big Hugs,
Terry
Hi Kelly!!Wow you have no idea how you have touched me right now I have just started the acceptance level of my journey and you just added to it...I LOVE YOU!gretcho
Lovely entry, Kelly. And it was so good to see you again. Love to you and Ryan, Linda
\"Acceptance is the hardest of all\"--this resonates with me, Kelly...SO TRUE...I think it\'s at that time of \"acceptance,\" when we grow and \"stretch\" the most, too...Grief broadens us...giving us a larger capacity for love in our heart....more room for compassion with all the stretching and growing...no \"shrinking\" back, if there\'s \"forward\" movement, right?! I am SO GLAD you enjoy(ed) the retreats, and hoping I can get to the next one to give you a hug in person! Love, Donna
You know I love you to the ends of the earth and back, Kelly! This was my best retreat ever, maybe due to where I am at now in my journey. I loved Friday night and thought it was just wonderful. Perhaps because I am an \"old-timer\" and know what to expect? I thought it was quite nice, painting the shells and visiting. I know I made an effort to meet and greet the new mom\'s this year. We are a village, for sure, and it takes much effort to put all this together each year, and yes, things may not work out perfectly to suit everyone, but we do a helluva job at supporting and loving each other, as as Barbara said, Love is...
Every retreat has it\'s own pulse...I think we receive what we are ready to \"hear\" when we are ready...if that makes sense...
I know once I allowed my heart to open a few year ago, and not fear that when it opened, it would \"bleed\" out, I have felt more abundant love than ever in my life...I never realized the depth of love (and pain) that a heart could be filled with...it is a true testament to the human spirit.
Love you,
AnnM
Yes Ann you are right!!!We are all here to open our hearts as love is truly the only answer on this earth, even as we bleed!!!!! Love you all, Kathy
Thank you for remembering to write this, Kelly! We must make another lunch date soon... Love and miss you LOTS.
Thank you for all your comments, I take things way to personal and am sensitive. You know walking the Labyrinth was So cleansing, I felt the Love grow So much between all the moms. I didn\'t want to let go of anyone\'s hands, I didn\'t want to break the chain between us..Love the SOTH always!
Hi Kelly! It was great getting to know you better. I look forward to hanging out next year!
Igot teary eyed when you mentioned \"Live, Laugh, Love.\" Lisa had that message on her living room wall. It soon came down when Beth moved in. Oh well.
I loved the walk on the rainy, windy beach. I found it cleansing. And the labyrinth and cairn were the hilites!
Love and hugs,
Marlene
Kelly is does sound like you moved forward many steps. I do hope your path is smoother now not so many bumbs to deal with.
Hugs Penny