Boring Peace
I often wonder if the root cause of war, conflict and violent crime is simple boredom. Even the majority of children's cartoons need a conflict to resolve in order to hold our attention. Peace is far too boring for prime time tv. For the strictly personal hyper-vigilance for which I have received so much psychotherapy, it is even frightening. The most hideous of snake attacks tend to happen when you least expect them.
But here we are, midway through the first of the holiday vacation weeks feeling shades of predictability that could easily pass for boredom. Maybe. Mostly guessing. The children have passed quite a few vacation weeks here at this farm, but this would be the first time doing so meant, "Staying Home." It has been just over 3 months since the custody shuffle which placed them here. Just over 2 months since the tragedy which made this look more like a permanent home than the original custody arrangement implied. It's been one hell of a ride! ! ! I'm not sure any of this feels permanent enough to be boring, but? ? ? Have we arrived?
The house is coming along nicely. In local politics, water and septic systems tend to be the most heavily policed of the building codes. There is no water/wastewater infrastructure and a severe shortage of ground water when measured by the encroachment of the nearby metroplex. The septic systems are a whole nother ball of environmental confusion. The septic didn't pass the first inspection over a simple detail that the contractor fixed on the spot. Not good enough for the inspector. Gotta schedule another inspection. Sigh. . . Don't let the country western songs fool ya. . . Down home compassion ain't any more common in small towns than it is in big cities. Less so in my personal experience. In the 60's, I couldn't escape my country roots fast enough. I still keep my windows rolled up and my doors locked when I have to drive through small towns on my way to my wilderness retreats.
Replies
Because I teach death and dying classes to nursing students every day, arfie, my hobby is stand up comedy. Even there I find wisdom for my PTSD, though. My favorite comedian wrote a book based on what you wrote here: "Peace is far too boring for prime time tv. For the strictly personal hyper-vigilance for which I have received so much psychotherapy, it is even frightening. The most hideous of snake attacks tend to happen when you least expect them." His book is called "Waiting for the Punch," meaning being hyper-vigilant when things are too peaceful and waiting for the other shoe to drop, as it were. It was a best seller, so that tells me you and I aren't alone in this.
I think you’re on to something here Arfie. I find myself now wondering the same, how much conflict is started because of boredom.
For all our cravings and desire for peace, especially those who have history of trauma & violence, I find personally once I reach a time of peace I don’t know what to do with it. I find I’m continually waiting for something bad to happen, some kind of crisis or conflict.
Your entry really has me thinking this morning. How much of the result of conflict that follows peace, or is born from boredom, is a result of generations of conditioning? Historically even countries that had attained a peaceful state upon a stable succession of the next leader that peace is immediately jeopardized because the new leader must prove their virility and strength.
On an individualistic level, we want to be seen and recognized but as children I feel that old saying “children should be seen but not heard” is another cause for peace becoming conflict. How many people actually notice the quiet child and their needs if no one hears them? Children in my opinion should be both seen and heard, but I’ve noticed it’s commonly only those that cause conflict and break the conditioned rule of silence that receive any attention.
So I just wonder if we have been conditioned by generations and history to long for peace but once attained are ingrained with a need to break it.
Just thoughts.
Hugs & love Arfie
Yea, it be the intensity of that recurring theme which makes me suspect boredom as the true root of war, etc. Forcing our values onto others is one of the ways to keep our personal values from boring us to mediocrity. Bored people scare me. . . Worse than that, bored people are boring.
Anyhoo, I'm not quite sure we've achieved boredom yet. That new house behind the hay barn is still pretty exciting. So is the new yard which is shaping up with the new fenceline going in as I type. So are the new chicks who have almost outgrown their first brood chamber already. I think it might be 2020 or so before we achieve boredom.
In my strictly personal herstory, I believe I come from a long, long line of chaos junkies. The love of chaos seems to be far more deeply conditioned than devotions to any of the substances, etc., being abused in the pursuit of chaos. For sure, I consider myself a recovering chaos junkie.
Does that make me the world's most interesting person?
My newly departed son just popped up in my head in his HS cuteness with his favorite jibe of the era. "Mom," he loved to tease, "the fact that nobody understands you does not make you an artist."
I miss you, my gentle son. I can almost think of you and smile. Works in progress. . .
Arfie---for sure-boredom causes chaos! I think as humans we get conditioned because we are always dealing with something life throws at us. Even I try to elude boredom by constantly doing something-I can't even sit through the first 15 minutes of a movie! I can't ever imagine being bored.
Given the relentless chaos I was raised in, even as a child my most standard response to cries of, "I'm bored" was, "I'm jealous." There was a pretty long list of reasons I always found the library in every new town long before I cared about the social hotspots the rest of my family always looked for. I'll take the boredom of productivity over excitement most days.
But balance in all things, especially in matters of stimulation. Given how chaotic the past 6 months have been, a bit of boredom sounds like a balancing treat this morning.
I hope that you all have a peaceful Thanksgiving Arf…… I'm glad that the homestead is coming along well
I think at times people who have been diagnosed with depression are really bored and changing it up and doing something different can make a big difference
You and the family remain in my prayers.....xo
Interesting discussion here today. Hugs to all for their thoughts.
I have often wondered that same thing about depression, but given that my nature is far more prone to rage than depression, I leave it as, "Not mine to sort." and offer only sympathy on that wandering wonder. Not even *I* have *ALL* the problems available in a normal psych ward.
We now have water in the new house. Theoretically, we will have electric the minute the electric coop gets out here to do the final hook-up. Now for the porch and decks. The temporary stairs to the house bite, big time.