Boredom
I have no clue why I decided to take classes online. I have no motivation whatsoever. Although now that I'm back on meds it's getting slightly better. I'm fortunate that their classes it don't take much effort on my part. This week I've been playing a nasty cold so all I wanted to his sleep. That did not help me try and complete all my assignments for the week Sunday afternoon. I really believe the reason that I get in to trouble is because I am really lonely.
Now onto Scott (friend / needs to be gone) he never seems to leave me alone. He wants to come hang out this me this weekend, is actually kind of begging. Scott is like herpes, he may be dormant for a while but he always comes back. Is there part of me that wants to hang out with them, yes. I do consider him a friend I don't want what he's looking for and that is sex, even though we have had sex in the past . The problem is that I would hang out with him simply because the bored and lonely. I really need a life and some friends.
Nate (BF) called me last week freaking out because he got hand got fronted, he didn't have the money. With me working my CODA program I'm able to say to him, write me and tell me what jail you're in. I also sent him a Facebook message that said if he's going to continue using and I'm not help him stay in the sober living house anymore. he sent me a message back saying that none of the money I sent him has gone to drugs and he asked me not to give up on him. I Feel kind of like a hypocrite because I used last week because somebody else bought some drugs. I know it is illegal and it's not good for my bipolar disorder or multiple sclerosis, I do because I'm bored and lonely and it gave me something to for the day after I helped then run some errands. I'm really need to get back to the workforce, I never have been good when I'm not working and is just getting worse.
Now onto Scott (friend / needs to be gone) he never seems to leave me alone. He wants to come hang out this me this weekend, is actually kind of begging. Scott is like herpes, he may be dormant for a while but he always comes back. Is there part of me that wants to hang out with them, yes. I do consider him a friend I don't want what he's looking for and that is sex, even though we have had sex in the past . The problem is that I would hang out with him simply because the bored and lonely. I really need a life and some friends.
Nate (BF) called me last week freaking out because he got hand got fronted, he didn't have the money. With me working my CODA program I'm able to say to him, write me and tell me what jail you're in. I also sent him a Facebook message that said if he's going to continue using and I'm not help him stay in the sober living house anymore. he sent me a message back saying that none of the money I sent him has gone to drugs and he asked me not to give up on him. I Feel kind of like a hypocrite because I used last week because somebody else bought some drugs. I know it is illegal and it's not good for my bipolar disorder or multiple sclerosis, I do because I'm bored and lonely and it gave me something to for the day after I helped then run some errands. I'm really need to get back to the workforce, I never have been good when I'm not working and is just getting worse.
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