Bored at Work
Today was the first time I actually didn't want to be at work once I got there. I think the honeymoon phase is over. Still, it was nice to get out of the house. It does give me a reason to get out of bed, which I know is crucial to preventing my depression. Tomorrow I'm going to go for my walk, rain or not, and try and get laundry done. I haven't done laundry in weeks, so it's about that time. I've been avoiding it since I'm broke and I don't have a lot of money for laundry, but clothes do need to get washed. I can't wait for next month when my bills will be lower. I won't have to pay my home phone anymore, I got that shut off for a cell phone instead. I'm saving $35 by doing that every month. Plus, I didn't pay my internet last month, so I had to pay for 2 months this time around. So this month has been especially tight.
Work was okay today. I didn't sleep as well as I wanted to last night... I woke up around 1am and was up until around 3am. I actually slept through my alarm for about 10 minutes, which I never do. Like, never. I always wake up before my alarm, I'm one of those people. I think that was one of the reasons why I didn't want to be at work, because I was so tired. I had my coffee, but it wasn't enough, I don't think. Well, I made it through the day and got all my work done (I don't even know how many appointments I made today, I lost count) but my boss was gone for the time I was there so she just left me this huge stack of work and I got through all of it. I'm glad I left early yesterday, or else there would have been even less for me to do. I had to walk home in the rain, but I didn't mind too much. I just need a new umbrella for my backpack, since the one I have is broken. I keep it because it's better than nothing, but still.
Mood today was good. I felt good despite being tired. I don't want to oversleep tomorrow, so I'm thinking about setting my alarm to get up. I don't know, though, because I'm getting a bit of a headache so I'm hoping it's not going to be one of those nights again. I might take a bath when I'm done with this so I can relax and see if that helps. I don't want to be taking pills all the time. Right now I'm sick of pills. I have to take my medications, but I don't want to. Don't worry, I'm not going to stop taking them because I know what happens when I stop them, but I would rather not have to worry about if I took my pills every day and night. I know they help my mood (and therefore keep me able to volunteer) and stabilize me. I know I hallucinate if I don't take them. Bad things happen when I don't take my pills, so I know to take them. I just get sick and tired of it sometimes.
I'm looking forward to the end of the month and the holidays. I'm normally not a person who likes Christmas, but this year I think it's going to be different. I don't know what I'm going to do besides go visit my mom, but I think I will put up my tree and maybe get some lights or something to put up. Geo already got his Christmas present, so I don't have anything to put under the tree for him, but I did ask him to get me a watch for Christmas, something nice that I can wear to work, but waterproof. I know he doesn't have a lot of money for it, so I'm not expecting anything fancy. I just want something useful. I'm practical like that. He already got me some peppermint bark, something I love, at the store, for Christmas and it was just the sweetest thing.
Food today was bad. I'm low on calories again, under 1,200. I need to start eating more and sleeping less. I'm sleeping like 12+ hours a night now, when before I was good with 10. I know 10 is a lot for most people, but it was what I needed. I think I'm going to have to gradually go down on my sleep because when I go on vacation I don't want to sleep my vacation away. I have 2 months, so I think I can do it. I just have to be better about getting out of bed on weekends and not sleeping in during the week on the days when I work late. I know the more time I'm awake, the more calories I'm going to want to eat, so I know that the key is to sleep less and get my life back. Stress today was moderate... I would say low, but I have this tension headache for some reason, so there has to be some sort of stress going on. Sleep last night while I got it was good, but I was up for a long time in the middle of the night. Mood is good, and let's see what I can get done tomorrow!
Work was okay today. I didn't sleep as well as I wanted to last night... I woke up around 1am and was up until around 3am. I actually slept through my alarm for about 10 minutes, which I never do. Like, never. I always wake up before my alarm, I'm one of those people. I think that was one of the reasons why I didn't want to be at work, because I was so tired. I had my coffee, but it wasn't enough, I don't think. Well, I made it through the day and got all my work done (I don't even know how many appointments I made today, I lost count) but my boss was gone for the time I was there so she just left me this huge stack of work and I got through all of it. I'm glad I left early yesterday, or else there would have been even less for me to do. I had to walk home in the rain, but I didn't mind too much. I just need a new umbrella for my backpack, since the one I have is broken. I keep it because it's better than nothing, but still.
Mood today was good. I felt good despite being tired. I don't want to oversleep tomorrow, so I'm thinking about setting my alarm to get up. I don't know, though, because I'm getting a bit of a headache so I'm hoping it's not going to be one of those nights again. I might take a bath when I'm done with this so I can relax and see if that helps. I don't want to be taking pills all the time. Right now I'm sick of pills. I have to take my medications, but I don't want to. Don't worry, I'm not going to stop taking them because I know what happens when I stop them, but I would rather not have to worry about if I took my pills every day and night. I know they help my mood (and therefore keep me able to volunteer) and stabilize me. I know I hallucinate if I don't take them. Bad things happen when I don't take my pills, so I know to take them. I just get sick and tired of it sometimes.
I'm looking forward to the end of the month and the holidays. I'm normally not a person who likes Christmas, but this year I think it's going to be different. I don't know what I'm going to do besides go visit my mom, but I think I will put up my tree and maybe get some lights or something to put up. Geo already got his Christmas present, so I don't have anything to put under the tree for him, but I did ask him to get me a watch for Christmas, something nice that I can wear to work, but waterproof. I know he doesn't have a lot of money for it, so I'm not expecting anything fancy. I just want something useful. I'm practical like that. He already got me some peppermint bark, something I love, at the store, for Christmas and it was just the sweetest thing.
Food today was bad. I'm low on calories again, under 1,200. I need to start eating more and sleeping less. I'm sleeping like 12+ hours a night now, when before I was good with 10. I know 10 is a lot for most people, but it was what I needed. I think I'm going to have to gradually go down on my sleep because when I go on vacation I don't want to sleep my vacation away. I have 2 months, so I think I can do it. I just have to be better about getting out of bed on weekends and not sleeping in during the week on the days when I work late. I know the more time I'm awake, the more calories I'm going to want to eat, so I know that the key is to sleep less and get my life back. Stress today was moderate... I would say low, but I have this tension headache for some reason, so there has to be some sort of stress going on. Sleep last night while I got it was good, but I was up for a long time in the middle of the night. Mood is good, and let's see what I can get done tomorrow!
Replies
Your headache maybe from the change in weather. I hope the bath helps you relax.
How heavy is your backpack?
Do you eat pasta? that\'s high cal. maybe you can have some pasta salad. you know pasta and mayonnaise. that will up your cal. if you make it you can control what you put into it. You can even put some left over chicken in it.
Good luck with the sleep pattern and food intake.