BONDED TOGETHER BY THE DEATH OF OUR CHILD
I read that we are drawn to others who have or are experiencing the loss of a Child...A stranger in the grocery store, or shopping in a Department Store...or just standing watching your car be washed...I truly believe this is true...There have been many times this has happened to me..The subject of losing a child does not seem to be the starting of the conversation..About a year after Ken left us, I went shopping...as I looked at different items, I noticed this lady and I kept ending up in the same area...joking to each other we made a comment like "We must be following each other". As our conversation continued, the shopping stopped as we both shared the death of our child...So many times this has happened to me that I do believe it to be true.. Just yesterday, I was getting the car and coach cleaned at the campground...A another camper came and talked to my husband...I was rushing around like a chicken with its head cut off, I saw his wife, but had not said anything to her other than "Hi". She kept to her camper, finally I started talking to her and as usual now it's just become a part of my conversation about my boys and about losing Ken..it's not the way it was at first..when you share you have lost your child...its to me like describing your other children's jobs....as it turned out, she shared with me about her husband's death.....then with the most sad eyes I have ever seen other then us who have lost a child, she shares, she too lost her son three years ago..Another Sad Mom passes my path...so it seems that where ever I am, other Sad moms and I are drawn to each other..and even as the depth of the pain is not as painful..as it first was, not because we love our child less, our bodies can not handle the deepest pain we have ever experienced...For me it seems to happen more often than not....Why we are drawn to other moms, strangers I don't know, but it has happened so many times to me, I know the statement has to be true....Yet every time it happens it still comes as a surprise to me...Maybe it's because we need others who understand or just need to share but when we meet another mom forever our hearts our bonded...strangers maybe never to see each other again, bonded by the death of our children...Bonded in a way that only another mom feels Bonded together as we are here in our group...Bonded as we share our deepest pain...
Replies
Absolutely!!! I, too have met moms who have lost their children when I least expected it. Once your eyes lock with another mom - you are truly bonded. Sending hugs for your journey that we all find ourselves on, now. ((((hugs))) Vicki
I understand what you are describing, Sandi, and have had it happen to me as well. One such time was at our Boston retreat when we were all about to begin to walk the labyrinth in Chatham. There was a woman there who had come to walk the labyrinth with a friend or perhaps it was her sister and she too had lost a child. She silently took our hands and joined our silent communion of hearts and walked it with us. What are the chances???? It felt so very tender and sacred.
I think we become earth angels for one another and are called to witness, companion and to notice. This is just what you are doing as you share your heart.
Hand in hand and Heart to heart,
XO Joanie
I remember that lady in Boston..there was another when we were in Ashville at the Biltmore...
I don\'t often find other mothers, but when I hear that someone has lost a child I reach out to them, hopefully with understanding, and share FMO with them.
I am sure those mothers will remember you forever. I too have met many moms who have lost children. Just this morning I was doing an interview with a lady in a nursing home. She told me that her eldest daughter died at the age of 43. We had a bond.
Tight hugs, M
We seem to be drawn together. When I was with Karen at the VFW, there were the 3 of us who have lost a child. When we were talking with another lady we found out she also lost a child. I do agree we are drawn to each other, by Angels. Helping others seem to be our mission. Keep it up.
Hugs Penny
Sadly, there are many of us. Many more than I would have ever thought. I think we bond so easily is because we simply \"get it\". No words or trying to describe thoughts or actions. They already understand. Glad you were drawn together. I hope you told her about FMO. Much love. Robin
Yes, it is so hard when we meet another mom such as ourselves, no one else seems to get it as much as another mom.
Sending you and the other mom love,
Leda
It is so very sad how much we connect with each other on our journey. I have been to two more wakes this month. So So sad. We are in this together. Peace, Kathy