Bonanza
I"ve been watching a lot of the show 'Bonanza' lately. I got a DVD set of 34 episodes. No matter what evil they face, no matter who or what they come against, no matter which one of their lives is in danger, Pa (Ben), Adam, Hoss or Little Joe. Doesn't matter what's at stake, they always stand up for what is right, and the good guys always win.
There's always dangers, often a few shoot-outs. Almost always a pretty lady - usually for Adam, sometimes little Joe. Poor Hoss. :-) Anyway.... It feels good to watch one of those episodes and know that Good will prevail. The evildoers will not succeed in their plans but be stopped in their tracks.
I want to know that is the way it is in the real world. I've come to know so many victims - some on this site, and some elsewhere. We all need a Ben Cartwright to stand up with his three brave sons behind him ready to defend us to the death. Restore our honor, value, right to live freely and pursue our lives.
If the Cartwrights came riding into my life right now, guns at their sides, little Joe on the pinto as always (I'm partial to Little Joe. Michael Landon is one of my favorite actors - especially in Little House on the Prairie when he plays Pa/Charles), what would I need them to save me from? How could they make me feel safe? To have Adam at my bedroom door, pistol in hand, nod his head to me, give me one of his half-smiles and say "Don't worry Miss Beth. You'll be safe tonight." To see Little Joe and Hoss pacing and arguing, trying to figure out how to outwit the evils in my life. To know Ben is overseeing it all, guiding his boys, taking pride in their actions, and behind them 100% in their defending me.
Who is willing to give up their life for my sake? No, you, whoever you are reading this, are not willing to sacrifice yourself for me. Sure, you'll lend an ear. Sure, if you were near by you would spend an afternoon with me. But who will sit with me every night through the panic attacks? Who will make sure I'm eating well? Who will provide for me financially? Who will stand at the attack of the enemy and say "That is enough. You're not coming near Beth again. I'm standing by her side to the end."
Someone may suggest my family. I've run from them because they're to busy amongst themselves. I spent my teen years trying to help make sure everything runs smoothly. I can't take the role reversal - and they wouldn't have the time for me. There's so much to be done. And the noise! The chaos! The mess! Sure, I'll visit for a few weeks this summer, and they are helping me financially, but I do not feel I can depend on them for day to day help. I would be one more stressor on them and that would stress me out!
Some would argue that the 'adult Beth' needs to take care of the 'little, hurt Beth'. God knows I'm trying. I'm doing everything I can. And I won't quit. Not until I know I'm safe. But it doesn't feel like enough.
Others will remind me that Jesus is my protector. He is my Savior and my Prince of Peace. I know. And I will not give up seeking him. I believe He is the truest answer. He will provide the help I need, whatever form it may be.
And then there are a few who think I need a man in my life. He will take care of me. He will be there for me. That would be wonderful. But I know, I fear, being to dependent on a man not dependent enough on God. I need one who will point me back to Jesus every step of the way. Who will hold my hand and will sit with me through it all, but will know that for both of us - our help comes from God. So when the day comes that I am well, we will still have that common bond and can face the world together, supporting each other in our faith. Then I'll be one of the Cartwrights, riding off into the distance with Ben, Adam, Hoss and Little Joe. Can I ride behind Little Joe on the pinto?
I wonder if Michael Landon has a grandson my age...... :-) One in his spitting image of course and of equal character. :-)
There's always dangers, often a few shoot-outs. Almost always a pretty lady - usually for Adam, sometimes little Joe. Poor Hoss. :-) Anyway.... It feels good to watch one of those episodes and know that Good will prevail. The evildoers will not succeed in their plans but be stopped in their tracks.
I want to know that is the way it is in the real world. I've come to know so many victims - some on this site, and some elsewhere. We all need a Ben Cartwright to stand up with his three brave sons behind him ready to defend us to the death. Restore our honor, value, right to live freely and pursue our lives.
If the Cartwrights came riding into my life right now, guns at their sides, little Joe on the pinto as always (I'm partial to Little Joe. Michael Landon is one of my favorite actors - especially in Little House on the Prairie when he plays Pa/Charles), what would I need them to save me from? How could they make me feel safe? To have Adam at my bedroom door, pistol in hand, nod his head to me, give me one of his half-smiles and say "Don't worry Miss Beth. You'll be safe tonight." To see Little Joe and Hoss pacing and arguing, trying to figure out how to outwit the evils in my life. To know Ben is overseeing it all, guiding his boys, taking pride in their actions, and behind them 100% in their defending me.
Who is willing to give up their life for my sake? No, you, whoever you are reading this, are not willing to sacrifice yourself for me. Sure, you'll lend an ear. Sure, if you were near by you would spend an afternoon with me. But who will sit with me every night through the panic attacks? Who will make sure I'm eating well? Who will provide for me financially? Who will stand at the attack of the enemy and say "That is enough. You're not coming near Beth again. I'm standing by her side to the end."
Someone may suggest my family. I've run from them because they're to busy amongst themselves. I spent my teen years trying to help make sure everything runs smoothly. I can't take the role reversal - and they wouldn't have the time for me. There's so much to be done. And the noise! The chaos! The mess! Sure, I'll visit for a few weeks this summer, and they are helping me financially, but I do not feel I can depend on them for day to day help. I would be one more stressor on them and that would stress me out!
Some would argue that the 'adult Beth' needs to take care of the 'little, hurt Beth'. God knows I'm trying. I'm doing everything I can. And I won't quit. Not until I know I'm safe. But it doesn't feel like enough.
Others will remind me that Jesus is my protector. He is my Savior and my Prince of Peace. I know. And I will not give up seeking him. I believe He is the truest answer. He will provide the help I need, whatever form it may be.
And then there are a few who think I need a man in my life. He will take care of me. He will be there for me. That would be wonderful. But I know, I fear, being to dependent on a man not dependent enough on God. I need one who will point me back to Jesus every step of the way. Who will hold my hand and will sit with me through it all, but will know that for both of us - our help comes from God. So when the day comes that I am well, we will still have that common bond and can face the world together, supporting each other in our faith. Then I'll be one of the Cartwrights, riding off into the distance with Ben, Adam, Hoss and Little Joe. Can I ride behind Little Joe on the pinto?
I wonder if Michael Landon has a grandson my age...... :-) One in his spitting image of course and of equal character. :-)
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