Body image and support

Well, I decided it was time to finally start working on my life-long body image issues. I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I definitely starved myself in high school, and become obsessive about any sort of diet. I have had a couple of bouts of weight loss the healthy way, and I felt great. But now I am the heaviest I've ever been and I am usually disgusted with how I look. My boyfriend loves me the way I am, and whenever I get down on myself, he says, "I don't know what YOU see, but that definitely is NOT what I see." My best friend says the same thing. So my mind's eye is seeing my body as something different I suppose. I don't know how to change that, so I need to start working on that and figuring out how to be healthy. It isn't so much about food with me, as it is how can I lose weight and be MENTALLY healthy. It will be the focus of my entire day, all day. The self-hatred I have towards my body is obscene, the inner dialogue in my head every day when I look in the mirror is.....pretty bad, to say the least. Unfortunately, the social pummeling we take every day of this new fad diet or exercise, must be toned, must be thin, must be fit.  Not just for women, but  men too. I feel like I have to be in a mentally better place about my own body before I can focus on losing weight again. I have to start somewhere, so, here I am.