Bobby (3),

Hi. I'm feeling quite lonely tonight so I thought I might write to you. I don't know why I feel the need to tell you everything, I mean you'll never even read this! But it's nice to talk to the only person who's ever listened. The only person I ever really loved. I loved you so much, you know.
When I listen to Third Eye Blind it reminds me of you. When we first became friends. Before I knew your secrets and you knew mine. Before you were there. Before you left.
'Deep Inside of You'. That's the song playing right now. I just downloaded all of their albums. They're a good band. 'Iris' is my favorite song of theirs. It reminds me of Kylie. Remember when you two were friends? Huh. A lot has changed, hasn't it?
I've been thinking about the past a lot lately. A lot. The future hurts worse for some reason. It's so uncertain... 
One memory I play over and over is pretty stupid. You weren't even there. It was after my mom tried to kill herself, or so I thought. I was at Jesa's and I was crying. Chris offered to hug me and I walked right past him. I wish I would have hugged him. I don't know why. 
Hm, I don't really know what else. I'm coming back to Oregon in three weeks. I don't want to become a mom, ever. I miss singing. I don't miss you. maybe i do. I'm not so sure.
--Mae
P.S. I'm not bitter anymore. Well, I am about some things, but not over you. I just thought you should know.