Bobby,

   Oh, Bobby. The first boy I ever loved. My first heartbreak. My big brother. My savior. The keeper of my heart. You fuck up. You wanna be peice of shit. You fucking loonatic. You poser. You sleeze. You low life. Oh, how I miss you...
   I used to make up little movies in my head all the time. The story line was always different, but they all ended they same. You holding me. Don't you know that's all I ever wanted? I wish I could have stayed at the beach with you forever. My toes submurged in mushy sand and water. Your arms around me, sqeezing too tight. Wanting to just die right then because there was no way it would get any better then that.
   But then you forgot. You forgot the sand. You forgot the beach. You forgot me. The worst feeling in the world is being forgotten. But you wouldn't know that because everyone loves you. People think that you are a god.
   You know, you always called me your baby sister, YOUR Hailey Mae. But you could never be mine. I had to share you with everyone else. You could never just be MY Bobby.
   I don't know why, but I have been thinking about you a lot lately. The good times, then suddenly the last time you told me you loved me. Out loud. Not when you texted me randomly, that was just weird. And not when we came back from Portland, that was bullshit.  You just wanted me to leave then. You kissed my hair, my face was burried in your chest. I was hurting so bad and with a tiny little peck it was all gone.
   Also, at prom. Remember that, Bobby? My breathing was normal. I saw you and I wasn't scared, I just didn't want you to go. You told me I looked beautiful then you kissed your hand and pressed it to my nose. My chest wasn't cramping, but it wasn't really flying either. We were just there. We were two normal people. You should have seen my friends' faces when I turned around... But I just smiled and started dancing to the shitty music again. That's the only time I remember us actually being okay. No drama, just okay.
   We should have had that. But, we couldn't. It just wouldn't have been us if there weren't tears involved. God, our relationship was so fucked. I can't help but miss it though.
   I think it just hurts that you gave up. You didn't even try. I was there for you, but you didn't care. I needed help, you got your philanthropists' high and moved on. You left me.
   That's all I can think to say.
   Consider this another moment of weakness. I can't promise it won't happen again.