Blursday
Dearest,
What a scene!!! She didn't know. She asked about you. I answered as matter-of-factly as I could. I saw her eyes getting watery and I said "Oh no you can't do that!". But she did, and I did and her daughter (Jamie, I think)did. What a scene! Another customer came in looked around and said "Uh-Oh", so it was that obvious even after we'd calmed down.
Then I came home and started to wrap gifts for the grandsons. You would have been on my case, I was playing with the stuff for a good while before I got down to business. Then I got out the plastic totes and started going through the wrapping papers and ribbons and bows, that's when all the memories got out. They climbed all over me and I started crying, again. Remembering what an artist you were at wrapping. Remembering all those times we wrapped before. Times of joy that seem so long ago, laughter and teasing that don't seem real anymore. We made it warm in the cold without even trying. I wish this was over. Got the wrapping done, chased all the memories back into the totes. Put them away, but I'm still remembering, some of those sneaky memories must still be roaming around the house. What a day! Took a nap, I deserved it.
We are almost out of wrapping paper, there's birthday paper, Chanukkah paper, tissue paper and that cellophane stuff that I don't what to use for but almost no Christmas paper. I'll have to go to The Christmas Store next week. I had to piece some different papers together like you did but nowhere near as nicely as you. I'm sure the grandsons will care, as if! Erica called today. She's looking for a home for her dog, moving again, I'm not ready, not yet, I don't want to take on anything new just yet. The grapefruit tree is blooming! Soon the house will smell like grapefruit blossoms. The fruit on the tree are as big as softballs, I wonder how long they take to get ripe? Will you stop opening the heat vent in here? Please? It gets to hot for me to work in here. Jean and Dave sent me a very nice Christmas card. Do I have to send one back? Btw where the hell is their address I looked in all the likely places.
Still thinking about you. Your Ken
What a scene!!! She didn't know. She asked about you. I answered as matter-of-factly as I could. I saw her eyes getting watery and I said "Oh no you can't do that!". But she did, and I did and her daughter (Jamie, I think)did. What a scene! Another customer came in looked around and said "Uh-Oh", so it was that obvious even after we'd calmed down.
Then I came home and started to wrap gifts for the grandsons. You would have been on my case, I was playing with the stuff for a good while before I got down to business. Then I got out the plastic totes and started going through the wrapping papers and ribbons and bows, that's when all the memories got out. They climbed all over me and I started crying, again. Remembering what an artist you were at wrapping. Remembering all those times we wrapped before. Times of joy that seem so long ago, laughter and teasing that don't seem real anymore. We made it warm in the cold without even trying. I wish this was over. Got the wrapping done, chased all the memories back into the totes. Put them away, but I'm still remembering, some of those sneaky memories must still be roaming around the house. What a day! Took a nap, I deserved it.
We are almost out of wrapping paper, there's birthday paper, Chanukkah paper, tissue paper and that cellophane stuff that I don't what to use for but almost no Christmas paper. I'll have to go to The Christmas Store next week. I had to piece some different papers together like you did but nowhere near as nicely as you. I'm sure the grandsons will care, as if! Erica called today. She's looking for a home for her dog, moving again, I'm not ready, not yet, I don't want to take on anything new just yet. The grapefruit tree is blooming! Soon the house will smell like grapefruit blossoms. The fruit on the tree are as big as softballs, I wonder how long they take to get ripe? Will you stop opening the heat vent in here? Please? It gets to hot for me to work in here. Jean and Dave sent me a very nice Christmas card. Do I have to send one back? Btw where the hell is their address I looked in all the likely places.
Still thinking about you. Your Ken
Replies
Ken,
Know what you mean, for me it seems like the closer it gets to Christmas, the tears come more often. I\'m tired of crying, red eyes and blotchy face, guess that\'s part of grieving, the more we love them the harder it is and the more grieving we do. Hope you have a Good Christmas and a Happier New Year.
hugs...Sandi
Ken that wrapping paper can be tricky. The cellophane stuff you wrap around a basket of something and tie it up at the top. Usually used around Easter on baskets. I agree those memories can sneak out and get us at the strangest times. Question, you have a live grapefruit tree indoors ???? how do you get it to pollinate ? I am all a twitter over this news. I wish you a plesant night and hope that the Weekend is ok for you. Jane
I would love to hear more about that grapefruit tree. It does seem that the closer it gets to Christmas the more memories come out of nowhere doesn\'t it. Blessings to you and prayers for a better New Year. Diane
It goes outside in the nice weather, The bees love it and somewhat surprisingly so do the humming birds. I started it from a seed more than 30 years ago. It\'s older than my daughter. About 8\' tall and 6\' wide covered with thorns, it\'s a bear to move to put it nicely. Whenever I move it I remember the event for a week or so. Oh, I can grow stuff, Abby was always amazed.
Added a pic of the tree to my photos
Take the dog for the weekend, see if you can handle and let me know...There\'s a dog here that needs a home, and I\'m unsure also...but there\'s nothing like a dog in the house on a winter night!
jules
The dog might be a wonderful idea.....I am with bostonjules......take it for a weekend and see how it works out. It\'s awfully nice to have a reason to get up and out (except when it is real cold) and a dog\'s fur always works like a sponge to absorb the tears.....: ). The wrapping paper didn\'t get me but the old gift tags sure did. Couldn\'t bring myself to throw them away so just put them back in the box. Does the grapefruit tree go dormant any part of the year? We always had them in Florida but, of course, never had to worry about the cold. Glad tomorrow is Cryday......still have a few tears that need to come out.
I just love grapefruits...I love to be the one who gets the bags of grapefruits off those trees that you dont want, send some my way Ken! With the Christmas card thing, i dont think you have to send one back if you dont want to..I never do the christmas card thing anyways. But that is just me. ~Christi
I have been crying on and off for 2 days now. I expect there will be more over the next couple of days. I\'m hoping that I can hold it together so I don\'t ruin it for everyone else, but if not, oh well, they will just have to deal with it. I can\'t wait for this to be over!
Hugs,
Jean
Ken,
Okay. I want grapefruits. There I said it. How wonderful for you! Seems you got us all with the grapefruit tree.
The wrapping did not slay me but laying the presents under the tree almost knocked me out cold. sigh.Then my BIL sent me a black and white picture of my Jim he is squatting down, looking at a fossil he found in rock, his head is tilted up just slightly and at the click of the shutter he is looking directly at the lens... it is so HIM.
It\'s okay to cry. That\'s what I tell myself anyway. It\'s okay to cry.
Linda
That grapefruit tree is amazing. Can\'t believe you started that with a seed! I would kill weeds if I tried to grow them.
Well, you made it past the hairdresser - another step forward. You will make it through this holiday too and that will be another event behind. I am trying so hard to stay focused but the closer it gets, the harder it is.
I will be thinking of you this weekend. Hope you have the best holiday that you possibly can under these miserable conditions.
Angie