Blue Days Have Come Round Again
I'm feeling very low and apathetic today. Abulia is what Lori used to call it. I have a tonne of stuff to do for school. Tonight's online classwork is due in a couple of hours and I've done maybe a quarter of the reading. I don't feel motivated to do anything. My eyes and head hurt when I try to read, and my stomach is gurgling in weird ways. I really hate this and I feel like I'm on the brink of failure. I was doing so well...alright truth time, I was doing okay, but now everything seems like this insurmountable mountain. People wonder why school is so important to me now, and I have to say that really it's because I want to say I've been able to finish something that I've started. I still have hazy dreams of being an instructor at a community college someday. I'd like to have a partner to share my life with. And I guess finishing is what I've come to see as the key to all that. But today it all seems hopeless. Maybe tomorrow will be better but I doubt it.