blow-up

Well forgot to mention my new mixed-martial arts bag.  My psych suggested a punching bag.  So we bought a mixed-martial arts bag.  Well yesterday I tryed it out.  Well luckily no one else was home because I started hitting it harder and harder, started cussing, than I just about started to cry.  I scared myself so bad, I had to stop.  My wife said that is all the stuff I have kept in for over 20 yrs. and need to let it out.  Well I do not know if I can do that.  I am afraid of that stuff, plus if I start I do not know if I can stop.  Sean