Bloody Doctors
I feel so anxious. I tried all day yesterday to make a 7 week scan appoinment to be told I couldn't do this directly (even though I have many times in the past) and that I had to get my GP to contact the hospital to make the appointment for me. The stupid woman at the hospital said "you don't need an early scan as you have had a successful pregnancy". Like what difference has that made? I told her I've had 1 miscarriage since and now I'm bleeding small amounts and I have a prior history and medical problem which is why I miscarry and she still wouldn't help. I've had a little more fresh blood this morning and even though 3 small one-off amounts in 4 days isn't much its scaring me. the weird thing is with the miscarriages I had before having my daughter I didn't bleed. All MCs were missed miscarriages. Then the last was a chemical pregnancy and I miscarried within a week of knowing I was pregnant. When I had my daugther I did bleed a small amount at 4 weeks then again at 6 weeks. So I don't know whether to take the blood as a good sign or bad. I just feel deep down this pregnancy has gone wrong also and I don't know how I get the strength to keep going on and dealing with it. I know I am very very lucky to have my daughter but I would like to have another child. I feel so lonely and stressed. I just wish things will work out for me again. And then thats it I won't have to put myself through this again.
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